For Your Journey

It's 2009!

2009-03-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Obviously, I took the last quarter of 2008 off from blogging. However, I did start up again in the New Year with a brand new blog--this time limiting my writing to one particular area of my life. You can now find my 2009 posts at http://thebestdonna.blogspot.com/

I will be posting in the new blog until May 2009, at least. After that, I may be back to this blog. Stay tuned... : )

More to say...

2008-09-10T00:34:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe taking a break from blogging wasn't such a good idea. I have had lots to say and no way to get it out when I wasn't writing, ha! Just kidding!

All is very well, so I'll be back very soon...

Life is good and I am extremely grateful!

Deliberate and stress-free

2008-08-31T22:29:00.000-07:00

This morning started out just as I wanted... lied around until I felt like taking a shower and then getting out for the day. I got my car washed and then hung out at the bookstore for awhile. I was pleasantly surprised to run into a former customer from my FYJ days. She's doing well and it was so nice to hear about her personal growth since I've last heard from her. It continues to be such a great reminder that the place I created had such a positive impact in so many people's lives.

Later I went to my friend's house. As she fixed dinner, I simply hung out, drank wine, and shared my usual stories. We had a very enjoyable time as always, that is until...

She has a new WII. Is that from Nintendo? I think so. Anyway, it's a video game. I'm sure most people of this world know about and enjoy this game! But I don't. In my distant past, I'm sure I tried playing something at some point, but I'm simply not interested. Today, as my enthusiastic friend encouraged me to play her new game, all I ended up feeling was stressed out. I was supposed to be having fun and enjoying myself, but I didn't!

I played several games, but finally decided to stop. I liked playing the games in order to get the right answers. And at the level I was playing that was fairly easy. However, I quickly realized that although I enjoyed the challenge of trying to get the right answers, it was being timed that I didn't like. I just didn't enjoy feeling as though I had to race against the clock. I simply wanted to go at my own pace and get the right answer.

So, of course, how I was feeling then led me to self-reflect on how I like to do other things. As I've shared before, I don't like to be stressed out. In fact, it's rare that I do stress, simply because I don't like the feeling. So playing the video games today, and getting stressed out by them, gave me a lot to think about myself. In life, I like to feel as though I make the best decisions for myself. I'm deliberate in how I do almost everything. I like to feel as though I'm making the right choice, regardless of how long it takes to make it. At this point in my life, I no longer compare myself to anyone else, or compare how I live with how anyone else lives. I simply follow that which feels best for me. But if I'm feeling rushed or feeling as though I have to make a quick decision, I get stressed out!

Believe me, I do many things quickly. I talk fast. I walk fast. I definitely drive fast. And I do much of my work fast. But if there's something I have to do, and I don't necessarily know how to do it well, then I need time. And in order to get a good score in a video game, I don't have time!

Well, this certainly is no major topic, rather just today's interesting self-observation. I'm not stressed at this moment (the wine helped!) And I'm definitely not upset about anything either. It's actually been a pretty good day. I'm simply perfectly content to never play a video game again! : )

Thankfully, the weekend is not over yet. One more day to do something stress-free! Yeah!!

I set it up this way

2008-08-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

It’s only the Saturday of a three-day weekend and I already know it’s a great weekend. I’m not even getting all three days off from work either. In fact, I worked a bit today and plan on working some on Monday as well. I’m not required to work, rather made a choice to do so.

Over the last couple of weeks I’ve been busier than usual. I usually have an easy schedule in which I have plenty of time to come home at the end of my day, hang out for awhile, go to the gym, meet friends for coffee, or simply come home and take a nap! But my days really haven’t been that way lately. In fact, I haven’t even been to the gym in about two weeks!

The other day as I was complaining to my daughter about being tired, I said that I needed a break, to which she responded by saying, “Your whole life is a break!” We laughed, because that’s pretty much true. I have set it up to be exactly this way. I love this particular time in my life. I’ve already raised my daughter and am not currently in a serious relationship, so all my time is my own. I enjoy doing only what I want to do and when I want to do it.

However, when I’m not remembering how I’ve set up my life to be (for this point in time), I often think about the areas of my life that are not as I want them to be. I think about who’s not doing what I want them to do or what’s not happening as I think it should be happening. But when I really look at my life and lifestyle as I’ve now set it up, I realize that I really do love it the way it is. This doesn’t mean I will want it exactly this way forever. But I know when I want it to be different I can set it up another way. After all, I do have plenty of options and opportunities.

In a movie I went with my sister to see today, there was a character who was very much enjoying her experience. She simply followed what made her happy. But there came a point in her experience when she started thinking about what she wanted. She stopped following her feelings and started thinking about it, which then made her experience no longer happy to her.

I am reminded of Joseph Campbell’s quote, “Follow your bliss.”

In a conversation with my sister after our movie today, I recalled much of what I’m writing about tonight. I talked about how much I love my life as it is. I talked about how I’ve set up my life to be easy, stress-free, worry-free and very flexible. I talked about how I do whatever I want and whenever I want to do it. I talked about how I simply follow that which makes me happy.

So, this long weekend I have a good opportunity to get things back to how I want them to be. Since I can do whatever, I decided to work a bit extra, go dancing with my friends, go to the movies with my sister, cancel plans to attend a barbeque I was invited to, and to sleep in on Sunday! THIS is how I want it.

Yes, there will always be more that I want out of life. I will always strive for more of this or that, but as my life is today, I love it and I’m grateful.

Tomorrow after sleeping in, because I want to, I will probably just spend the day with myself… maybe lie around for awhile, get my car washed, go to the bookstore, get back to the gym and/or have something special for dinner… We’ll see!

What a great life… just the way I want it!

The Universe works it out

2008-08-28T23:46:00.001-07:00

Yesterday was a crazy day, and I found it hard to articulate anything meaningful to say. Today was yet another interesting day, but I’m in a better state of mind to write. And so I’ll try.

All I can say about these days of mine, is that they sure are interesting. Life is pretty cool for me right now, and I find it so amazing to observe it, which is also why I like to write about it. There are so many things that I want to write about though, that sometimes I spend more time trying to figure out which thing to pick for the day, than I actually take to write.

So here’s what I found most interesting today (among some close seconds)…

Today was sort of planned for me. I would go to my office job, go home afterwards and get my uncle some dinner, and then go with my daughter to pick up her wedding dress. It would be a fun day, but I also very much looked forward to the hours after all that was done so as to be able to come home and lay on the couch. I get so little time for that these days!

Well, first I was pleasantly surprised to be able to have lunch with my daughter. We had good conversation and I was very happy to spend the time with her. I looked forward to seeing her later in the day as well, and even though she was starting to complain about a headache, I fully expected to see her a few hours later.

As I wrapped up my day at the office, my daughter called to say her headache got worse, and that she wanted to reschedule her dress appointment until next week. I was initially disappointed for her because she had seemed so excited earlier, but did end up sensing she was fine with her decision to postpone her appointment.

So, ok… I decided to go home and take my uncle out for an earlier dinner. But on my way home I got a call from a friend. He had had a court date today for his divorce and really needed a friend. I agreed to meet him for a quick drink before I actually went home.

When I saw him, he looked sad. We went in the restaurant and sat down. He didn’t want to sit across from me in the booth, rather right next to me. Initially I wasn’t comfortable with that, but he said he needed to be close to his friend. So it was fine. As he talked about his day, and as I saw how upset he was, all I could do was have compassion for him. He is such in a bad emotional place. I listened as he talked about his “failure”, which seemed to bring back my own memories of the days I had like his today. Now healed myself, I so wanted him know that how he feels today is only temporary.

I think I did a good job at balancing my listening, my comforting words, and my words of encouragement for moving on in his life. Although I wouldn’t say he was better by the time we left, he seemed extremely grateful to me for being there for him.

When I came home, my uncle seemed ready to go back to his own home. We talked about what would be best, and it seemed today would be a good day. He packed his things, I took him to dinner, and then made the 3-hour round trip to take him home and back.

As I sit here tonight alone again, doing laundry, writing, and wondering what time I’ll actually get to sleep tonight, I am grateful for how the day actually turned out for me. I don’t wish the headache on my daughter, the pain my friend is going through, or the surgery my uncle is recovering from. I care so much about these people and I only want the best for them. But I’m happy that I am able to be part of their lives. I’m happy that I am able to contribute to them in the best way I know how. I feel the gratitude they have for me, and in return I have it for them as well.

I’m not always good with changes in my plans (just ask my friends!) But the Universe worked out my real plans for today, and I don’t mind at all. I had also planned to lie around my house most of this weekend to catch up on some rest, but have suddenly been invited to many things that it seems my weekend is sure to be full after all. I’ll work out my resting time, because above all, I am happy where I am today and the direction I’m headed… a continuous good life!

My dollar sundae!

2008-08-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

I was extremely close to missing my writing tonight. Not that anyone really reads these posts. They are mostly for me. I’m just tracking my personal realizations for awhile to make sure I’m staying focused on living the happiest life possible. And sometimes reading what I wrote helps me see myself clearer… like looking in a mirror.

Anyway, I almost didn’t write a post today. I’m still very tired. But that wouldn’t really have stopped me. I almost didn’t write because I got sick this evening. I don’t usually eat dinner. Living alone, I just pick at whatever I have around the house, or maybe eat a snack at the most. But since my uncle is staying with me I needed to get something for dinner. I had some food left over from Sunday’s party. I’m not sure that it was bad because my uncle is just fine. But I started feeling very uncomfortable soon after I ate. I was thinking that I just over-ate or that maybe because as I was warming up the food, I was snacking on brownies, and that is what was causing my stomach ache. I don’t really know.

But the feeling was getting worse and worse by the moment. I started feeling as though I was going to vomit. And I am an anti-vomit person!! I will do anything I can to avoid that action from taking place. The feeling in my stomach was just getting worse though, and finally I knew I had no choice…

Well, I did what I had to do. Afterwards, I stretched out on my couch quietly moaning from my experience and from the still lingering upset feelings. Yuuuucky. Then, slowly over the last hour or two I started beginning to feel like myself again.

And then even better!

So what suddenly comes to me? I want a hot fudge sundae from McDonalds! I ask my uncle if he wants one and so we get into my car, me in my ponytail, shorts and flip-flops, and he in his pj’s : ) and we hit the drive-thru at McDonalds. I get my dollar hot fudge sundae and he gets a small vanilla shake.

Well, I just finished mine and I feel amazing again!

Sooo, that’s it. I just found something to be very excited and grateful about tonight. Yes, there are many usual things to be happy about, but I found my unique one for the day. Thank goodness for McDonald drive-thru’s and for dollar hot fudge sundaes! I will fall sleep feeling very happy tonight : )

My runaway thoughts

2008-08-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

Surprisingly, it’s a bit hard to explain the intense feelings I had earlier today. This is extremely good news actually! As I sit here tonight on my comfy couch, now a bit rested and stress-free, it’s amazing to think how different things were for me just a few hours ago. I have no desire to re-live the feelings I had today. I just thought it would be interesting to write about because so much of my day was spent observing my thoughts… my runaway negative thoughts!

I had to get up at 4am to take my uncle to the hospital. He was having his gall bladder removed. These days, it’s a minor surgery and patients leave the same day. So we were to be at the hospital at 5:30am, which we were. I expected to be there about 4 hours maximum and had even planned on going to work after lunchtime.

But that was not meant to be. First, I was extremely sleepy. I had a very busy weekend and didn’t get enough rest by the time I had to get up this morning. Once I got my uncle situated where he needed to be, I was able to go to my car and get a bit more rest. But two hours later as I went back up to his room, he was still not back from surgery/recovery. The nurse said it would be another hour or two. Fine. I went to the cafeteria and had breakfast, then out to my car for a bit longer. Awhile later, I again went up to the room. Again, I was told an hour or two more.

This was the pattern for most of the mid-morning to lunch time. I kept being told an hour or two more. Apparently my uncle was fine, but the time continued to drag.

Finally, around 12:30pm he was back in his room. But the first thing the nurse said was that he needed to stay until 3pm because the doctor had prescribed another dose of a medicine that needed to be taken then. I had had enough! Important to note, I hate being in hospitals! My uncle has been there so much over the last few years, and even more so this year, that I think I’ve simply run out of tolerance for being there. Honestly, it doesn’t have anything to do with my uncle. I want to help him. I just don’t ever want to go to a hospital again!

So the day was getting extremely frustrating for me. Each time I heard that it would be an hour or two more I felt everything inside of me tense up. I felt as though I was in prison and badly needed to escape. I hadn’t planned on staying there so long, so I didn’t even have a book to read. And my thoughts just kept getting more and more negative as the day progressed.

I was reminded recently that the thoughts we have attract like thoughts. In other words, the type of thoughts one is thinking is immediately followed by other similar thoughts. Good thoughts lead to other good thoughts. And negative thoughts lead to other negative thoughts. And I was definitely having negative thoughts today.

I was thinking how stuck I felt there… which led to thinking how many times I’ve been in a hospital and not liking it… which led to how I wasn’t making any money today because I wasn’t working… which led to thinking how upset I am with certain family members who do not work and who didn’t help out today… which led to thinking about my bigger family problems… which led to how hard my life has been ever since I was born!!!! It was CRAZY!

The funny thing about it all… seriously, it was funny… was that I was fully aware of this runaway thought process. During it, I understood what was happening. I recalled what I had heard about thoughts attracting like thoughts. So I knew what was happening. And it was as though I also had another thought process going on simultaneously. I was amused at what I was doing. I was trying to stop the runaway thinking, and would interrupt it by thinking of something in my life that was going positively. But then, the negative thoughts just came rushing back. I then thought how freeing it would be once I got out of there. I mean, they would eventually have to let us go! I could only imagine! So a moment of peace… then the negative thoughts just came right back.

Eventually it was as though I had two conversations going on in my head at the same time. The one that just wanted to complain about being stuck in that hospital, along with every single other bad thing in my life, and the other one that found it very amusing and simply told Donna to just chill out! Honestly, I did find it amusing among all the chaos going on in my head.

At 4:30pm, 11 hours after we arrived, my uncle was finally discharged. He actually got through his ordeal today very well (yes, I am very aware that he was the one who needed the attention today, not my ridiculous thoughts!) I’ve since brought him home with me so I can keep an eye on him for a couple of days. And now all is well again!

Crazy day… but I’m very happy to report that all the voices in my head are calm tonight! And life is good again. Thank goodness! : )

Simply a great day!

2008-08-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

I don't have much time to write a post today, but it's a commitment to myself to put something here--especially because it's been such a great day so far and I have so much to be grateful for. So my happy day definitely needs a mention!

Today was my daughter Dana's bridal shower. I live in a very tiny apartment, so I asked my sister Tracy if she wouldn't mind hosting it at her house. She has a small house as well, but it's very cute, and she also has a nice little garden backyard. My sister is also a gourmet cook. She's not a professional, but she can put together the most amazing and healthy dishes with such little effort (I'd have to hire a caterer to have anything near what she can do!) Check out her blogs to see what she does... http://tracysfoodandthought.blogspot.com/ and http://www.tracyrif.blogspot.com/

Anyway, it was very hot outside today, but despite everyone having to fan themselves off with extra paper plates (Ha!) it was the most perfect party. My daughter has such great friends and they all showed up to show their love and support.

My two best friends, Jenny and Michelle showed up, as well as my brother, who drove his wife down from Rocklin, CA to attend the party. I was so happy to see them as it's so rare that I do these days.

Overall, it was just the best day! Dana is so grown up and moving on in her life so gracefully. I'm so proud that she's found a great guy and that they have such a beautiful life ahead of them.

As for me, I guess I'm just about officially a Mother-of-the-Bride. I cannot believe it. It seems that Dana was just born the other day. Oh well, there's still so many amazing chapters upcoming to experience as well, and I'm looking forward to them!

So I'm off soon to my Uncle's house in Vacaville. He has an early morning minor surgery and needs a ride. So I'll stay the night and be back in town tomorrow. My focus changes in a bit, but all is well and I'm VERY happy!

With gratitude...

Laughing at my unhappy days

2008-08-23T19:29:00.000-07:00

I don’t really have many long-time friends. Most of my close friends I’ve just met within the last few years. I love that I’m making more friends all the time, but in a conversation I had last night with my friend Jenny, I realized why it’s not always been this way for me. I recalled some not-so-funny things about myself and in my past behavior that actually made me burst out in laughter as I talked about it. I guess I’ve transformed so much over the last few years that I can now actually see the humor in it all!

Basically, I was admitting that I wasn’t a very happy person even when I owned For Your Journey. I had gotten divorced a couple of years before, and still really hadn’t gotten over it. I think it literally took me about 4 or 5 years to get over that crap. It’s embarrassing to admit, but true. I think my ex-husband went on and remarried before I could even start dating again on a regular basis.

Anyway, during the first part of my transformation—from the time I divorced to the time I opened FYJ—I had made major personal progress in who I was becoming. In that time, I had realized that everything had happened for a reason. I had come to believe that I attracted my life circumstances based on how I viewed the world. And basically, that view stemmed from the pain I experienced when I was younger. So, in all the work I had done on myself during and after the divorce, I had already felt a huge sense of relief in my new belief that there were solutions to my unhappiness.

So, I opened For Your Journey. I called it an Inspirational Center because I wanted everything within its walls to inspire people to discover similar answers for themselves. I never thought I personally had any solutions for people. I simply thought people would seek out their own answers and discover for themselves what I was in the process of discovering for myself.

Well, things didn’t exactly happen as I had imagined. I got a lot of unexpected attention when I opened FYJ. I simply thought people would shop, read books, and take classes on their own. But surprising to me, many looked to me for help. I, however, was still in the beginning stages of my own self-discovery, and not yet completely over my own unhappiness. And so, I don’t think I had the ability to appreciate the attention as much as I could have.

Jenny, who met me shortly after my opening of the place and who worked for me, and who is also now one of my closest friends, has been the one who has seen most of my transformation since those days. So when I admitted to her that I had been so unhappy even during those days of having the store, to my surprise, she agreed. She said yes, you were like a “muscle” (I think she meant strong and stubborn) and also said I was like a “dark cloud”. This is when I started cracking up! She was right, but what made me laugh so much, I told her, is that despite being such a “dark cloud” during those days, somehow I still had the ability to bring something very special into the world, make such a difference, and inspire people! It’s not like I was such a miserable person every single day. There’s always been some goodness within me. However, I realized just how amazing it is what I did during that time, especially now that I feel like such a different person even since then.

I ended that part of our conversation with… “Just imagine if I were to create FYJ from where I am now!?!” We both sighed with imagination.

I am not in the space of wanting to open FYJ again at the moment. It was a special time for many people, and for Jenny and I especially. There are so many good memories from those days, and if it weren’t for that experience I wouldn’t be the so much happier person I am today. Easily within the first few months after closing FYJ, I lost 15 lbs without even trying. To me, that represents lots of different kinds of “weight” I’ve lost since then. I’m still grouchy and moody at times, no doubt. But overall, I feel lighter, brighter, younger, and simply more joyful these days.

Now, I'm filled with even more imagination of what I have the ability to create from here… What a great (and funny) life this is!!

Refocusing

2008-08-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

Tonight, my post is shorter than usual. I had written something earlier today, but decided not to share it after all. Not that I’m past sharing such personal stuff (which it very much was) : ) it’s just that no matter how I worded it, I still felt it was coming from a place of lack. And my job right now is to work on abundance!

I’m also very tired right now from all the running around I have been doing this week, staying up late, oversleeping in the mornings, and then getting to work late each day. Luckily my boss has been on vacation! Really, it’s not a problem, but my plan is to get back on track by Monday.

So, what did I want to say today?

I’d just like to quickly share about my own latest reminder. Last night, while talking to a friend about a situation of hers, I realized that what I was telling her very much applied to myself as well. The moment I sense that I am pushing against something I don’t want—meaning I am putting too much thought into how a situation is not the way I want it, and then becoming frustrated by it—it’s best to find a way to release my resistance as soon as I can. I simply need to refocus. Trying to change my mind to not want something that I really do want doesn’t work. I simply have to take the pressure off the disappointment by finding something better to think about. And in thinking about the things in my life that I am happy about or the endless things there are to be grateful for, I easily begin to let go of the frustration of not having what I want in this very moment.

Then, when my focus on lack has diminished, what I do want can begin manifesting. Whew, good thing I chucked the other post I had earlier, and wrote this new one!!

All I want will come to me, this I know. After all, anything is possible!

Until later… : )

I'm good and getting better

2008-08-20T22:13:00.000-07:00

I must admit, I am a very good Empowerment Coach! I believe I have always inspired people, whether it was a friend I knew when I was younger, to a co-worker who needed mentoring, to the MANY former customers of For Your Journey (FYJ). I knew closing FYJ to become a life coach was a good idea, because that is what I basically did all day when I had my store anyway… answered people's life questions : ) The difference now, is that I get paid to coach people and I no longer have all the overhead expenses of running a store!

However, while I know I’m good at coaching, I also believe I’m getting better all the time. This week, especially, since working on my own thing (this life/blog project), I have noticed a difference in my coaching. I feel even more connected to my clients. For instance, today, with my teenage male client (I just love him!), as I was talking to him about how to direct his feelings to what he wants to manifest in his life, I began feeling the excitement within myself. I was giving him examples, such as feeling how it would feel if he was doing his sports, or playing his music, or doing his computer thing. Even though I don’t necessarily do the same things he finds enjoyable, I actually became excited simply by describing his possibilities. It was all meant as an example. But as I felt the happiness within myself, for the first time in a new way, I realized the effect of my own coaching. I sensed what my clients must feel when they are imagining doing what I’m suggesting they do. I often see it on their face, but this time I felt it within myself!!

Another surprising experience happened earlier in the week with another client of mine. As I was explaining something (I don’t exactly remember what, but obviously something inspirational about life) I mentioned that when I have a bad day, I do blah, blah, blah…, to which my client looked at with me with surprise and said, “You have them too!?” She was serious. I don’t think she necessarily thought that bad things never happen to me, rather may have believed that bad days don’t really affect me. I was surprised at her question because I am just the same as everyone else. In fact, I may even be more sensitive than many others, which means I feel a heck of a lot of bad feelings at times. I explained that the difference with me, however, is that I don’t stay in the bad feelings for very long at all. I have learned how to get myself away from negative feelings sooner than later. And since learning how to do this for myself, I have very little tolerance for being unhappy for too long.

These experiences in my coaching this week led me to believe that I must really show my clients the potential of living a happy life, by being an example myself. I don’t simply put on a happy face and tell them nice things. I am truly in the experience of being happy. Talking about living an empowered life simply fills me with joy. And so, no matter how crappy my day may have been up to then, the moment I begin discussing empowerment, all is right in the world!

I love being an Empowerment Coach. I love the effect it has on my clients, but even more so the effect it has on me. I love that I discovered my own uniqueness and have learned to embrace it. As I continue on my own journey of continuous self-discovery, my hope is that I also enhance what I have to offer others. I believe so.

Life is good. And I am soooo grateful!

A simple day, but still learning

2008-08-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

Today was a fairly simple day. Nothing extraordinary happened. Not that big things need to happen every day. Peace is perfectly wonderful. It's just there isn't anything major to report other than it's simply been a good day!

I’m just back from shopping with my daughter Dana and her Maid of Honor for Dana's upcoming bridal shower. Nice! She actually has two showers this weekend, one given by her dad’s side of the family, and the other given by my sister and I. Since I am attending both parties as well, it will be a very busy, but also I'm sure, fun weekend.

So, with nothing major to report, I had been thinking about what I wanted to write about today. And this is what came to me…

This morning I was talking with someone about an inaction of mine—meaning I could have taken action on this particular issue, but I didn’t. I consciously chose not to do anything about it because it was not my issue to deal with. Additionally, I do not believe my action would have helped the issue anyway. However, the person who thought I should have taken the action, I am told, was very angry with me as he thought I was wrong in my inaction.

Although I have compassion for this person, I haven’t changed my thoughts about my role one bit. I simply don’t think it was my place to get involved. Furthermore, I am again reminded how easily one becomes a "victim” (I’ve been there many times myself, unfortunately!) From a victims point of view, it is always someone else’s fault for their upset. And in order for a victim to feel better (if it is even possible), someone else must do the “right” thing. So because I didn't do the "right" thing, someone else's happiness had been in my hands.

While I was not exactly the victimizer in this case, I learned today that my inaction added to a victims story. This to me felt bad... not wrong, rather simply caused me to have empathy for the person who partially blamed me for the upset.

For the most part, we usually view pain, fear, and injustice from our own perspective. That is easily most visible to us. However, when we look at it from someone else’s perspective, it’s a good reminder how we must appear to others when we act as victims ourselves. So I am reminded, yet one more time, to stay empowered. My happiness is in my own hands. Living this way makes life is so much better.

It’s been a simple day overall, but never a day short of learning more about myself. I’m happy to be on this journey of mine. Life becomes clearer for me each day, and it’s a joy to experience!!

Working on my feelings

2008-08-17T09:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday ended up being a great day, just as I had imagined. I’m grateful!

I have been listening to a new book on CD, called “Money, and the Law of Attraction”, by Esther Hicks (Abraham-Hicks). I had been awaiting its release, so when it came out on Tuesday, I immediately went out and bought it. Since then I’ve been listening to it here and there, but finally got a chance to listen to much more of it on my three hour round-trip to see my uncle yesterday.

As a suggestion from the book, I decided that I would spend 15 minutes each evening focusing on the things that I’m working on bringing into my life. I thought I’d spend 5 minutes on each; money, health/weight loss, and a relationship (yeah, I know, I wasn’t planning on this one, but what happened on Friday night…). Anyway, it’s not enough to just think about what I want, I also need to FEEL as though those things are abundant and on their way to me. The change in feeling about those things is the important factor. So I tried. I’ve done this before and it’s not that hard actually. It’s more the consistency of doing it that makes me usually give up. Last night’s attempt started off ok, but then I wasn’t so sure I was staying on track. On the surprising side, I ended up spending about a half hour doing this. However, I didn’t feel as though the intensity of what I was feeling was lasting. I felt as though I was drifting back into feelings of lack.

But I attempted, and that was the point.

This morning I woke up with the memory of having dreamt that I got promoted at work. My first reaction to this was that there isn’t really any way for me to be promoted at work, since I am the only one that does my job! I mean, there’s no other office job where I work to do!

Then, I remembered what came to me yesterday… I am stopping some of my expectations of wealth by wondering where it would actually come from. When I was younger, and working my way up in the company I worked for, I always imagined good raises, promotions, and even profit-sharing checks. And they always came to me. But where I am at this point of my life, I’m more on my own. I really prefer it this way now, but I realized that because I don’t know where my big money will come from, I tend not to imagine or expect it as much, thus hindering my manifestation of it.

So, I’m going to keep at it... spending my 15 minutes (at least) imagining and expecting and FEELING that these things will show up in my life soon. To be continued…

All is well. And it’s looking like another fantastic day!!

Change this quickly...

2008-08-16T09:09:00.000-07:00

I woke up with a bit of tension this morning. I knew that I did not want to create my day from that feeling, so before I got up, I started thinking about things to be grateful for and imagined how great this day will be. After all, I have a returning client, who I will be very happy to see today. And no doubt, I will feel fantastic after our session. I always do. I’m also planning a trip to see my uncle (he’s an hour and a half away). I know he will be happy to see me, and we’ll probably go out to dinner, have ice cream or do something like that. So my day will be filled with good times.

However, yesterday was a challenge to keep up the positive feelings, which I know created my tension this morning. I guess I need to remember that whenever I make the kind of statements as I did in yesterday’s post, my life will start changing immediately. It always happens for me that way, and I often warn my clients this as well. The moment I tell the Universe I want something more, things start moving around to clear out things I no longer need. But wait, I might still want some of those things! However, some things may be in the way and need to be cleared before the better can come to me.

I mentioned yesterday that I was not going to work on my personal relationship. I don’t feel I have the energy to focus on it. And since I do have some friends who fill the companionship role for me, things seem “good enough” in this area of my life at the moment. Of course, I want better and more stable, but as of yesterday I was ok with things as they were. But circumstances led to disrupting my friendship with one of my favorite people. We are good friends and we get along very well. But in a moment last night, things went from happy to uncomfortable, and then to not so friendly. Whoa, where did that come from? I wasn’t expecting our relationship to be affected so quickly. And while it’s not the end of the world, nor possibly even the end of our friendship, I am reminded this morning that in order to have a better situation come into my life, the “good enough” situations may need to clear out. I am comforted in the feeling that this is likely what is going on.

So, despite that unexpected blip in my life yesterday, I’m looking forward to today. My tension is now gone, because I am again focusing on the possibilities of what’s to come next. It’s exciting knowing that things will change, simply because I want them to. It’s not hard work, rather just takes a bit of faith. And that I have today.

It’s a great day!

Back to blogging

2008-08-15T17:11:00.000-07:00

Having gone through many transitions in my life, I am not at all surprised to be going through yet another one. I’m sure I am responsible for them. After all, life is a series of choices. I make many choices throughout each day… what to think, what to say, what to do, what to feel, etc. All of those choices create my life circumstances, which is the biggest reason I also choose to be empowered… so I can change my life if I want to!

I haven’t done much writing in quite awhile. There are a few reasons for that, but mainly because I haven’t spent much time self-reflecting. Although I live alone, and spend plenty of time by myself, when I’m on the computer or watching tv, I’m simply distracting myself from deliberately creating the life I want.

So as with most people, it’s usually hard times that stop me in my tracks and makes me look at my life and determine if it’s really how I want it to be.

For the most part, I have a fantastic life—better than it’s ever been actually. As my own person, I am happier than ever. I’ve lived chaos before, so the peace I now live is very much appreciated. (That aspect alone, makes life great!) And although I’ve had more money in the past than I do today, I have two great jobs I absolutely LOVE. First, I'm an Empowerment Coach. It brings me more joy than any job I have ever had. And secondly, by day, I am an Office Manager for a small construction company. It’s by no means glamorous, but I thoroughly enjoy every single day I am there. Things are run MY way, which is good for this control freak. My boss is absolutely wonderful and appreciates me more than any boss I have ever had. So while money is an area of improvement for me, I’m working on it while enjoying my way of receiving it. Also, I love where I live. I love my flexible life schedule. I love that I have raised a smart and beautiful daughter, who is soon to be married, and who I know will continue to have a great life. I have great friends, and making even more all the time. I feel very loved by my friends and enjoy all the time and fun I have when I’m with them.

On the more difficult side of my life, I’ve been taking care of my uncle on and off for several months. He gets very sick and needs me for blocks of time. Then he recovers a bit, and then a bit more, and is able to take care of himself again. Then the process starts all over… he gets sick, and then better, etc. At the moment, he’s home alone. He’s not as well as I’d like him to be, but he’s holding strong for the moment. During these times, I am grateful for the peace of mind that he’s ok. I’m afraid it won’t last long though, so I just try to focus on each day as it comes.

The other areas that could use some improvement include my money situation (as I mentioned) as well as an easier time in some of my relationships, both with some of my family members and in my personal relationship. My family situation definitely does not make me happy, and I have felt powerless over it for awhile now. But I’m dealing with it, and working on how to change how I feel about some things. It feels a bit harder, than say, if it were an issue with a friend, but I know the peace about it is still all within my power. And then there’s my personal relationship situation… This is not my main concern at the moment—mainly because it’s been a bit difficult for a bit too long. I know there are better times ahead, regardless whether I choose the same person I have been choosing or if I choose someone new. I’m going to let that situation be for now, and trust that in everything else I’ll be working on, that it will also work itself out. I’m not saying it’s not within my power. I simply don’t have the desire to focus on it at this time. (Maybe beginning at Mile 10 on this leg of the journey!)

So, this is where I am today. I have a plan to work on changing some things in my life. I’m going to make some new choices, create some intentions, carve out time to focus on them, and excitedly experience what I will be manifesting.

I’m planning on sharing this journey as a way to keep me on track. And although I’ve always shared a lot, there may be some things I share that I haven’t previously. It’s a little scary, but the purpose is to say what I need say about it. I know I can have everything exactly as I want it, and so I will!

All is well. Life is good. And I am grateful.

An opportunity to appreciate

2008-03-27T22:50:00.000-07:00

One thing I am reminded whenever I am going through difficult times is that there are still countless things in life to appreciate.

As I’ve been mentioning, my uncle who raised me is not well and is now to the point of needing constant care. He wants to be with me so I have recently been spending most of my time taking care of him. I’ve been a bit tired, but some of the family is helping, so this week while he was staying with my aunt I had some time for myself.

I was able to go on a few coffee and dinner dates with my friends, hang out with my daughter a bit, go to the movies, get a haircut, and sleep in as late as I wanted. It has been great! Even taking the time to be outside, taking a deep breath while looking up at the sky evoked a wonderful feeling within me.

These have been beautiful days to re-charge. I feel a great sense of appreciation for my life, as it felt really good to be able to take care of myself in a way that I have not had the chance to do in several weeks now.

The thing is though, this is my normal life! I am always taking care of myself. And I usually do have all this time to do whatever I want and whenever I want.

Wow, how blessed am I? I already have a great life. But it took the time away from my usual lifestyle to remember to appreciate it.

I’ve been feeling some guilt for not being able to do more for my uncle. I’ve been feeling as though I NEED to care for him 100%, without relying on other family members to help. But this week of rejuvenation has helped me realize that I can have both. I can help him a lot, and then take the help from family so I can take care of myself as well.

Tomorrow I’m off to the beach with my sister Tracy… then it’s back to taking care of my uncle on Saturday. Helping my uncle is really an honor, not only because I am able to be here for him as he needs, but also because he has given me more opportunity to appreciate in this life of mine—including even more appreciation for him!

The next step is acceptance

2008-03-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

I’ve been spending the last week or so managing the things going on in my life right now. I recently wrote about not resisting what is, when something is not as I want it to be. The not resisting wasn’t too difficult, but the acceptance (the next part) has been a bit harder.

As I have mentioned before, I was primarily raised by my dad, along with my paternal grandmother and uncle. They were all my parents.

Grandma (left), Uncle Alvin, Donna (1st Bday), and my dad (sitting)

From one perspective, it is a blessing to have had “extra” parents. But to be honest, I have struggled with those blessings. From early on, I didn’t like that I wasn’t in a traditional family. And to make things worse, my dad moved away when I was eleven, leaving me with just my grandma and uncle. As ungrateful as it seems to me now, I used to think… Who gets raised by their grandma and uncle? I want to be like everyone else, with a mom and a dad. Even though I was spoiled by my grandma and uncle, it was still emotionally difficult for me, as I was desperate to understand why I wasn’t given the chance in this life to be “normal”.

When I was 27 (1993) my dad became ill and he wanted me to be the one to help him. I loved my dad so much that I would have done anything for him, so of course I stepped up. It was a huge heartbreak for me to watch him get sicker and then to lose him shortly after.

In a condolence card from my mom, she wrote something like… Maybe we finally know why you were raised by your dad—so that you would be close to him and would be there when he needed you. Whether or not that was true (because sometimes we, including my mom, never get the whys of life) it was like a huge weight was lifted off of me. After 27 years, I finally felt a sense of relief from my lack of understanding, as it was now replaced with a new belief of a purpose for my childhood circumstances.

It was three years later that I lost my grandma as well.

This leaves my Uncle Alvin. I’ve been sharing that he’s been sick. He’s not getting better and so now, he’s become the center of my life. Similar to my dad, my uncle also wants me to be the one to help him. And of course, I am. But I must admit it’s very difficult. I am having feelings that I don’t want to have. I get flashbacks of that teenager who thinks… Who is like me? If I would have just had a normal upbringing, then maybe I'd need to deal with two big losses (which I’ve already had so far). But now I’m going on my third! And while my mom is still young and healthy, she’s in the back of my mind as well.

Suddenly, all my extra parents don’t seem like such blessings. Isn’t that a horrible thing to say? Honestly, that sentence is not true at all. There’s just a lot of fear going on with me at the moment. I love all my parents, and I am extremely grateful for the abundance of love I have had in my life from having so many to care for me. But the anticipation of possibly more loss coming in the near future makes way for crazy thoughts.

I could easily edit what I’m writing here, but I’d rather just write honestly because I’m working on the acceptance stage for where I am with my uncle. Maybe I need to remember the possible purpose for having been raised by him—so I can be here for him now. He never married nor had any children of his own, but he freely gave all his love and attention to me. In return, he deserves all the love and caring in the world as well. This I know and so this I will give!

Not resisting what is

2008-03-13T00:53:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing couple of days! I have been so happy to be feeling so much better after my bout with the flu and the less than joyous feelings I allowed during that time. I am getting out again, hanging out with my friends, had a great day with my daughter, and began looking forward to what more I can create for myself for the rest of the month. And with the new and better feelings coming from the last couple of days, I even got some exciting news… including a strong possibility for an opportunity in an area of work I would simply love to add to my life.

Much of this great experience came, I believe, as result of the work I’ve been doing to become inspired again about living a joyful life. My illness and unhappiness over the last few weeks was unusually long for me at this point in my life, but by the time I went to sleep last night I was definitely feeling a huge relief from the darkness I had been in.

One of the things I did to help myself back into this better state was to watch the new classes that Oprah is doing with Eckhart Tolle based on his new book called, A New Earth. I am not reading the book, but I’ve decided over the last couple of days to watch the classes (so far the first two are available on Oprah.com) just to get an idea of what they are discussing. They’ve been quite insightful, and as a non note-taker (I usually just watch or listen), I surprised myself by jotting down a sentence here and there. Some things just resonated with me so much, I found myself wanting to make sure I kept note of it.

So with a handful of new sentences to think about, I had planned on writing tonight about one that seemed most applicable to my life at the moment. However, that particular topic suddenly took a back seat when something quite emotionally disturbing came up for me tonight. But as I took some time to absorb what happened, I began to realize something quite important for myself, having just noted these other sentences last night (in regards to not wanting what is)...

“Do not resist what is. Accept it …then take action to change it.” –Eckhart Tolle

For many, when we find out something is not how we want it to be, our first reaction is to resist it. I sometimes do this as well. I get upset, carry on about how I don’t like it, and then think and think and think about what I don’t want. It’s just so easy to go down that road.

Eckhart Tolle suggested we don’t do this. In fact, as someone who teaches this stuff, I suggest very similar ideas to my clients as well. I believe in the Universal Law of Attraction and that means if I add energy to that which I don’t want, I attract more of what I don’t want. So I do know this.

But tonight, in the moment I became aware of something I didn’t like, I went right for the thoughts of that which I didn’t want. I instantly became stressed about it, and must admit, also spent a bit of time upset that my happiness over the last couple of days seemed to be wiped out in just a moment. Then, I remembered…

I took some time tonight. I became quiet. I turned off my computer. I turned off my tv. I just sat with myself and accepted what is. I decided that whatever happened, all is still well. I decided that tomorrow I will take action, but tonight I will simply stay calm.

So without resisting what is, followed by an acceptance, ideas for solutions started to come to me. And then… my peace came back.

It’s been a few hours since this happened, but I am again in the space of remembering that no matter what happens from here, all is still well.

--Although I could be writing about a number of things that sometimes occur in my life, this post was again about my Uncle Alvin (posted 2/5/08). His health situation gave me yet another scare, but in this moment he is ok. And as I always say, now is all that matters.

I forgot to stay well

2008-03-11T07:33:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I know… It’s been awhile since I’ve written anything.

The flu that I swore wouldn’t affect me, did. I was very surprised actually. After all, I am the strongest when it comes to avoiding illness. My belief that we have power over whether or not we get sick was surely tested though.

It was a Friday morning. As soon as I opened my eyes that morning I knew something was wrong. I felt weighed down in my bed as though I was covered with bricks. Ughhh, it was awful.

It took more than a week and a half before I even went out of my house for anything more than a quick errand. I’m good about being able to stay home for a few days, but eventually the “cabin fever” hit me pretty bad. I hated it!

Over the last week or so I’ve been able to do a bit more, but I am still not back 100%. I haven’t been able to go to the gym, and yesterday when I went for a walk with my sister Tracy, I coughed half of the time. I’m sick of being sick. The good news though, is that I’ve decided I’m done and will now be well :-)

But why did I get sick in the first place? As I said, I believe we have some say over illness. Not everyone would agree with me, but this is my belief. And because it’s my belief, it’s true for me. I have gone through many flu seasons and rarely get sick for anything more than a day or so. I simply will it away.

This time was different though. I couldn’t will it away—or maybe I simply forgot to.

All of those days lying around my house trying to recover allowed me plenty of time to reflect on how I even became susceptible to this flu. Yeah, lots of people got it. But that is not a good reason to me. What changed for me in the days leading up to that Friday morning? Ah, yep, something did happen!

I don’t really want to share the personal details, but I can say that it very much had to do with how I was feeling in regards to a particular situation going on with me at the time. It’s been a life-long struggle for me… feeling loved, that is. I write about love (in fact, was my last post) and identify it as much as I can because it’s an effort for me to simply remember it. I have to consciously acknowledge that I am loved in order to remember it’s all around me. It’s just my thing.

Anyway, I had been questioning a situation that happened right before I got sick. I forgot who I AM and allowed my feelings to go to places not in my best interest. Then, the initial sickness and the subsequent cabin fever led to even more difficult feelings (the kind where I try to add proof for my negative feelings), which only prolonged the road to recovery. It has not been fun!

But I’ve finally decided to get myself out of that place. I started seeking inspiration again (my number one recommendation!) and am happy to report that I’m much better. I’m getting back to the person I’d rather be. I’m back to remembering why I love my life and why it’s important for me to be happy. For me it’s a choice—a choice to remember that the quality of my life is within my own power and that wellness comes naturally from happiness! Feels like Springtime! Yeah!

In love today...

2008-02-14T15:06:00.000-08:00

From the two phone calls from dear friends last night just after midnight (hoping to be the first to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day!), to the Valentine's note from my sister in Colorado at 1am, to the conversation with my daughter first thing this morning, to the chocolates that were delivered from a best friend today at lunch time... I am abundantly reminded why my life so special.

Today I am conscious of all the love that surrounds me and am feeling extremely grateful. Happy Valentine's Day!

Attitude of empowerment

2008-02-11T15:48:00.000-08:00

This is craziness! I teach empowerment. I live empowerment (as much as possible, anyway!) And I still have to remind myself what I’m doing when I’m blaming others for not doing what they are “supposed” to be doing for me.

One thing that gets to me is when people don’t do what they say. They say they are going to do something, and so, that is what I expect. Ohhhh, expectations! Those can get me in trouble. Well, not in trouble, rather cause me much frustration. So within the last week or so, I find myself expecting that in these two particular cases on the top of my head right now, that these people will do what they say they are going to do. But they have not!

So over the last couple of days, I find myself talking to myself. What is going on? What do I need to do to convince them to do what they said they are going to do?

All of the talking in my head was about them, them, them… and their effects on me!

Now, if a client of mine were to tell me what I was telling myself, I would have had an answer immediately. I would have told him/her to look and him/herself. There’s no power in victimhood. And there's little chance of trying to get someone to do something you want them to do, and still be at peace about it. See? That was easy. Then I would have followed up with more about what an empowered person would do in such a situation.

Well, sometimes that is what it takes—pretending that I am my own client. I realized that if I am having such a hard time at being empowered, then looking at it from the point of why I am attracting such behavior should at least help me change my attitude. I can simply create the attitude of empowerment for myself. In other words, maybe “fake it until I make it”.

So this is what I’m working on for myself for today. I am changing my attitude. I'm going to stop looking for ways to get these people to do what I want them to do and focus on who I need to be in order to attract what I want. I admit, sometimes it’s just difficult to feel empowered. But changing my attitude is a good first step to getting back to that place. Now, maybe I’ll find a little peace in knowing that in this moment, all is as it should be. I can tell, I'm feeling better already :-)

All is well!!

My Guardian Alvin

2008-02-05T01:14:00.000-08:00

When I was a little girl, I recall my grandma telling me the story of the first day my dad took me home—at eight days old, my home was to be where my 21 year old unmarried father still lived with his mother and his brother. These three, my dad, my grandma and my uncle, were to become my primary parent/guardians while growing up.

My Uncle Alvin never married nor had any children of his own, and eventually became my grandmother’s caretaker until she died in 1996. Since I was in the same house for many of my childhood years, my uncle also became like a second dad to me. I remember at seven years old, my uncle taking me to get my ears pierced. I remember him taking me school clothes shopping several times. At sixteen, he even took me to buy a car because it was easier for me to have my own so as he wouldn’t have to rush home every day from work to take me to my after school job at JC Penney’s.

My uncle would simply do anything for me. I always knew he loved me greatly and to this day I cannot even imagine how I could ever repay him for all he’s done for me. Even though it was clear to everyone all my uncle did for me, as my grandma got older she would always be sure to tell me that I was to take care of my uncle when he got older. That was a must! Of course I will, replying to her demand. That is the least I could do!

My uncle was always so young looking though. As a single guy, he was always going out and having fun. He even drove a Porsche for several years. So while everyone gets older, it was really hard to imagine MY uncle getting old.

But he is older now. He has been sick on and off for several years now, but always seems to bounce back as good as ever. Or maybe that is what I just want to believe. These days he lives alone (with his little dog) an hour and a half away from me. There’s very little that worries me in life, except for my uncle being alone and being sick.

This past week he got very ill. Last Monday when I spoke to him on the phone, I knew he sounded bad. I offered to take him to the doctor, but being the man who has always taken care of ME, he said not to worry about him. But I could not sleep that night worrying so much about him. So I called him the next morning to check on him again. This time he asked me to take him to the doctor. If he asked, then I just knew he was bad. I couldn’t get there fast enough. He’s just so far away. By the time I got there and walked in to get him, he was standing there so thin with the weakest look on his face. My heart just sank.

To make a long story short, he was in the hospital for about five days. I drove back and forth from my home to his home almost every day making sure he was ok, his dog was ok, as well as to take care of my obligations at home. It was very tiring, but it was simply what was needed.

The doctors at the hospital were wonderful and got him back on track to getting healthy again. And he was finally well enough to go home on Saturday. As I left him tonight to come home for a couple of days, I felt a little relieved that things should be ok again for awhile. I worry, but will continue to do my best to make sure I’m there for him as much as possible.

However, typical as our relationship goes, it is always my uncle who wants to take care of me. I sometimes feel guilty because I owe him so much, and he should not still be trying to take care of his 41 year old niece! But as sick as he was, he insisted on giving me money to pay for my gas for all the trips I was making back and forth. When I told him that I was eating fast food, he told me to take some of his money and go sit down at a restaurant to eat. Of course I didn’t, but I knew he just wanted to make sure I was eating well. I want so much to make sure that I now do what I can for my uncle, and sometimes hope that my grandma wouldn’t disapprove of the job I am doing these days when it comes to my uncle. But I realized that as long as he can, my uncle will always be my guardian. He’s my parent. He loves me and he will always want to take care of me. And if that means giving me some money to pay for my gas or to eat a meal, then he’s doing what makes him happy… to take care of Donna.

I often complain about my childhood. I didn’t enjoy it, not because it was so bad, but because I didn’t appreciate it. I am reminded this week how blessed I was and still am to have my Uncle Alvin. As I see him getting better today, I so wish he could always be this way. I simply don’t know what I would do without him and hate even thinking about it.

But today all is well, thankfully. And today is all that matters!

In my dreams

2008-01-27T22:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, I’m really enjoying this idea of themed days (see prior post). I’ve now moved into a new theme...

I’m always telling my clients how essential it is to continue seeking inspiration. It's important because being inspired makes creating a fulfilling life so much easier. And for me, it is no different. I quickly sense when I need inspiration, and so as I've been noticing my less than enthusiastic feelings over the last couple of days, I decided that I better look for new ways to be inspired.

So I went to the internet. This is an easy way to find inspiration as there’s simply no end to what is out there. And so being the night owl that I am, I ended up spending a good amount of time last night surfing the internet. It was fun, because I was specifically seeking inspiration. I started by going to some of my favorite websites, then followed their favorite links, and ultimately ended up in all kinds of unexpectedly cool places.

Soon I found myself on a few Myspace pages. I ended up watching an online segment from an Oprah show where the teachers from the movie, The Secret, were on. They were explaining manifestation, or how to create what we want. One simply said, “Dream it up”. I loved that, because so often people only think to follow that which already exists—when there are so many other possibilities just waiting to be realized. Or sometimes, people simply limit their dreams because they focus on all the obstacles that may prevent them from actually getting what they want.

Anyway, in my seeking last night, I also found a Myspace page for one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. I know that he is so famous, and he has people who handle the site for him. But I did notice that his site sends a comment back to those who ask to be his “friend”. So eagerly, I sent in my request in to be his “friend”. The comment pictured above is what I got back.

I feel very excited by this synchronicity. As a person who works at following her dreams and has also learned how to be grateful for whatever that journey brings, it is so nice to be reminded that what I am doing is supported by those who inspire me.

I am starting a new group workshop this week in which we will be discussing how to create what we want for ourselves—in other words, how to follow our dreams! Learning and experiencing how to create my own fulfilling life is the ultimate way to be able to teach that to others. My own dreams are so grand, so wonderful, and are so very possible. I want everyone to live their own dreams as well. And so, now I am even more excited that my new group will be starting soon. I am so grateful to all of those out in the world who inspire me, as it is surely in my dreams to pass it on…

* More info: Create it! Group, starting 1/30/08
* Myspace, For Your Journey

My choices, my reasons

2008-01-23T23:39:00.000-08:00

Today was an interesting day. It was one of those days that had a theme. On one hand I love days like this, because synchronicity shows up clearly, and that is always fun for me to notice. On the other hand, if the theme is one where I have to look at myself in a certain way, it can really throw me off track a bit.

But it’s all good.

The day was just filled with several explanations of my personal life choices. With most people in my world, I am often supported in my decisions. They “admire” who I am and often compliment me on the courage I carry along on my journey. I never set out for people to look up to me in any way. I just live how I live. I share a lot about myself. That often inspires people. And I am fortunate to hear about it.

Today’s discussions weren’t really out of the ordinary for me. However, I did feel as though I was defending myself a bit more than usual. That was weird! And it was with four separate people in four separate conversations—two people who don’t know me very well and two who actually know me quite well.

With the two who don’t know me as well, I found myself explaining a lot of my life story. That is not unusual for me at all! But in some of their responses, I sensed as though I needed to give better “reasons” for having made some of the choices I’ve made.

With the other two people, who know me much better, I also felt as though I was explaining why I am making yet other life choices for myself. And that was unusually uncomfortable for me.

So, in reviewing my day, I am reminded of all the “explaining” I did.

From teaching empowerment, I am very aware that it is not those people who gave me a hard time. Whether or not they had any judgment on my personal choices is of no relevance. I make choices. I explain why I do what I do. And really, that is good enough. However, when I feel uneasy about the answers I give, then it is my self-confidence that comes into question—not my choices.

I believe that I have a healthy level of self-confidence. But when I find myself feeling as though I did today, I realize that there is still work to be done in that area for me. I never regret my choices, because I am very conscientious in the decisions I make for myself.

Where those feelings came from today, I have no idea. I’m not so worried though. As I sit here tonight, thinking about my life, I am just as excited about who I am, what I do, and where I’m going. Nothing is ever a waste, not even today’s experience. I will take what I’ve realized about myself today and work on it tomorrow.

All is well!

My flight to the job I love

2008-01-19T14:16:00.000-08:00

In 1989 when I got a job at HP, it was my dream come true. I was 22 years old, and although it was such a simple accounting job, it was everything I wanted at the time. My starting salary was $2,000/mo. I remember feeling as though I won the lotto! Sooo much money!

My journey in the fourteen years at HP was a blessing. I was able to learn a lot, contribute a lot, raise my daughter with the flexibility the company offered me, and buy homes, cars, etc with the income it eventually afforded me. It was truly a blessing.

But in 2003, I knew that journey was over. I had gotten what I needed from that experience and was ready for whatever was next.

What was next though?

I took a class called “Creating the Work You Love”. I often talk about this class, because it truly changed my life. (Well, lots of things have changed my life, but this is one of the big ones.) At the time, I didn’t exactly know what “work” I wanted to do. I just knew it wasn’t what I had been doing. So, when the teacher (Rick Jarow) started the class with, “I know there’s something you want to do, but you are not sure what that is…” I thought to myself, “How does he know that?” Well, the whole class was like that for me. He just seemed to know what I felt and what I was thinking.

I could explain my whole experience of that class, but that will take a whole chapter of a book. For now, I am only sharing one part of the class that I am reminded of today.

In the class, we were walked through a meditation/visualization. To be honest, while I had a spark of an idea of what I did want to do, I had nowhere near the confidence I needed to actually make the move. However, in the meditation, we were asked to imagine ourselves as an animal, any animal. So, I imagined myself to be what I had imagined myself to be ever since I was a kid. Then he asked us to imagine ourselves as that animal in our favorite setting. Well, that was easy, because my favorite setting is the beach.

As a kid, who didn’t enjoy her childhood, I always imagined myself as a bird--maybe to fly away, or to simply be free to go wherever I wanted. I don’t know. I just knew I wanted to fly. But in that meditation, I actually wanted to stop myself from imagining myself as a bird. Instead, I thought to myself… I don’t want to be a bird now. Birds fly. I don’t even like flying in a plane. I like to be stable, on solid ground. So instead, I imagined myself sitting in a tree. I was a bird, sitting in a tree, looking out at the ocean.

When the meditation was complete, the teacher explained what each part of the visualization meant. I don’t even remember it all. But one thing very clear to me was at that point in my life, I wanted/needed a career change. However, like that bird, I was simply too afraid to fly.

With that, and many other amazing things I got from the class, I found the courage to leave my job at HP and start planning for my new inspirational center, to be named For Your Journey. Since I had come from a company who was big on branding, and because I am very methodical in how I do things, I decided that getting a logo and creating my website would be the first best start. So that is what I did. I found a graphic artist who listened to my ideas so that he could come up with what I wanted. I told him that my business would be called For Your Journey, so for the logo... maybe a path, or a sunset or a dove or a beach scene would be good. More than anything though, I had imagined a picture of a path (a journey).

Now this happened many month’s after that class I had taken. But if you can imagine my total shock as I opened the email with the initial sketch of my new logo… a bird flying over the ocean! My graphic artist had no idea what he gave me, but I knew right then… I was no longer afraid to fly, because I was flying! I had begun my new journey and from here life would forever be different.

So much has happened since then. And as I much as I share, there is still much more. Most exciting so far though, is where I’ve landed these days. Who I am now as a person is so much greater than who I could ever have imagined myself to be. I inspire people every single day because I found the courage to fly. I live in pure joy in doing what I do, and can only imagine even more as I continue on this journey of mine.

This is how life is supposed to be. We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to love every part of our lives. We should even love our jobs. And I definitely do, thankfully!

Sometimes I just need a nap

2008-01-12T16:49:00.000-08:00

How funny that my last post was called “Always at peace”, because it’s as though the Universe has been testing me on that over the last couple of days.

I have been frustrated in dealing with something I tried to get closure on at the end of the year. It seems to have crept into my new year, and it’s distracting me. I have also been frustrated by a situation in which I didn’t listen to my guidance. You know, one of those things where you just had the “feeling”? You just knew you should do something, but you ignore it, hoping that what you’re feeling is not right. And then when the consequences show up in your life as a result of not following that feeling, you say to yourself, “I knew it!” Unfortunately, that happened to me yesterday as well.

So, stuff seemed to start piling up. Fortunately though, I know better than to go down the road of gathering up more crap to add to the pile of frustration. I know I cannot stay in that space of being frustrated by things, then add to it by thinking about all the other things also not going right. I really know the consequences of that!

So for me, when things start feeling a bit too much, I take a nap. I LOVE my sleep! Even though I’ve heard too much sleeping could be a sign of depression, I would never put that label on myself, especially because these days I do not stay in my upset for too long at all. I simply feel bad for a bit, beat myself up mentally for as short of time as possible, take a nap, and then wake up having let it go.

While I’m not sure all of that is the best way to go, I am still proud that I only stay in the place of frustration for a short amount of time. And while I have not yet mastered how to live a life void of less-than-perfect-days, I will surely always stay dedicated to returning to my preferred state of peace.

Sleep brings me peace. It ended up being a VERY long nap last night. In fact, I slept so long, it would be embarrassing to admit here. But I feel much better today. I am happy to see the sun out today and to also have been invited to yet another SJ Sharks game for tonight (box seats even!). The Universe has again reminded me today that ALL IS WELL. I had my sleep and it’s now time to get back to my good life. Whatever happened before today has already happened. It’s over and there’s nothing more to do about it in this moment. After all, this moment is perfect actually!

Have a great weekend!

Always at peace

2008-01-08T21:14:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I sent out my FYJ Newsletter. Even though I always get nice responses from people telling me how much they liked it, I often think about what more I can do for them. If people would only understand how much happier being empowered could make them…

Instead, I find myself wondering about the 3 out of 500 people who unsubscribed from my mailing list!

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I began thinking about why I do what I do (coaching that is). I LOVE coaching! I believe I have found my purpose—for this stage of my life anyway. I simply don’t want to do anything else. But sometimes I have to remind myself WHY I coach.

In my “former life” (prior to the year 2000 for me) I was quite unhappy—not all the time of course, but I would say that I was more often unhappy than I was happy. I simply didn’t understand life as much as I do today. And in that unhappiness, I not only attracted negative situations to my life, but I also behaved in a less than positive way. In other words, I could be really bitchy at times. Really!

For example, I remember arguing with people if I believed they cut in line ahead of me. I wouldn’t just get mad, but I would spend a good amount of time arguing with them about it. I just wouldn’t let it go. I simply didn’t have tolerance for people in those days, and easily got upset when someone was not doing what he/she was “supposed” to be doing.

Then I attracted a huge lesson to my life, which ultimately gave me an understanding of my previous behavior. Those were very harsh days for me and it was a time where I felt NO peace in my life at all.

Then came my life questions. And as I often explain, answers soon followed. I realized a lot about myself… my fears, my unhappiness, my disempowerment, and more. I believe all that prior life was necessary (for me) to understand what I do today.

And since the beginning of those realizations, I have been on this new journey I now live. Remembering what it’s like to not have peace in my life, it is now my personal mission to always be at peace. And so I am.

My daughter bought this bracelet (seen in the pic) for me about three years ago. It’s all scratched up these days, but I rarely take it off because it is probably my most favorite gift of all time. It’s not only meaningful because my daughter bought it for me, but because it greatly represents who I now am and how I now live.

This may be surprising to hear, but I am not here to save the world. Even though I help people find their own happiness, my purpose in life is not to make them happy. MY purpose is to be happy and be at peace myself. Coaching makes me happy. Coaching makes me feel alive. Coaching gives me peace.

So I can let those three unsubscribers go and wish them well. I am happy they know what they do and don’t want for themselves. That is what empowerment is actually. I am happy to offer what I do to whoever wants it, because it fills ME. And as long as I continue to live this way, I will always be at peace!

Did I really have a baby once?

2008-01-02T21:04:00.000-08:00

I got the call yesterday, "Mom, we're making the rounds and I wanted to let you know that we're coming over." Well, I had never heard her say that before, but I knew exactly why she was coming over. She was going to give me the news. She's only 21 years old, but I was only 18 when I had such news... so what could I say?

I was 19 when I had my daughter Dana. I remember expecting her, giving birth to her, and taking care of her. But to think back of her as a baby, it seems like a whole other lifetime ago. From the day Dana was born, she was so good. Seriously, she was rarely even sick. While she had the occasional cold, I can only remember one time her really crying because she couldn't hold anything down in her tummy. She slept through the night at six weeks old. She went off the bottle easily at one year old. She potty-trained extremely easy at a year and a half. She was simply the easiest baby. Even when she got the chicken pox at two years old, it barely even phased her. (I, on the other hand, got the chicken pox from her and I think that was the sickest I have ever been!)

Into the school years, and all her years growing up, Dana was simply the easiest child. I couldn't even imagine having a better child. She's the sweetest, the nicest, the smartest, and now today, one of the coolest people I know. I not only love her as a daughter, but I love the person she is. She's just so likeable, and I am extremely proud of the woman she has become.

So being the person who Dana is, it only makes sense that she would find her perfect match.

In the summer of 2006, when Dana met David, I just knew they would be together. There's no easy way to explain it, but it's just as if they were made for each other. They were instantly joined at the hip, and these days it's hard to imagine the time when she wasn't with him. If I wasn't blessed enough before to have such a wonderful daughter, I am even more blessed today that she's found such a great guy. Honestly, David is simply the best for Dana. He is so smart, responsible, and very loving towards her. And I have absolutely no doubt that he will continue making her very happy.

So the news--the news that they are engaged, is perfectly good news to me.

However, since my world revolves around me (ha-ha!), I must say that even though I am happy about my daughter's engagement, I feel like I've aged about 7 years in one day. Not really. I don't feel older, like old (actually I feel great these days). But I feel like I've just jumped into a whole new phase of life. I'm not even sure why. After all, the wedding will not happen for awhile. And thank God, they are not planning on kids for a few years after that! But really, how did this day even come so fast? Did I really have a baby once? Did I really take her to kindergarden... go on all those field trips... watch her in the band in Junior High School... teach her how to drive... see her graduate High School... then let her go when she moved out last year? How did all that happen soooo fast?

I know, there's so much more to come, and so much more life to look forward to with my daughter. I'm good. But, hopefully the next 21 years won't go as fast as the last. Every day is such a gift... a gift to cherish... and a gift to be grateful for. And I am definitely extremely grateful for every day since I had my baby.

Congratulations, my dear sweet Dana and her very deserving David!

2008!! Ready for the journey...

2008-01-01T19:59:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year! I'm excited the new year is here, because I just know it's going to be a great one. I'm setting my intentions and getting ready for the journey...

Time for closure

2007-12-31T03:03:00.000-08:00

It’s the end of the year… thank goodness! It was a good one, don’t get me wrong. I have loved, laughed, learned, shared, and cried. While the year had its share of lessons for me, I feel good about having gotten what I needed from them. I am grateful for the past, but now it’s time to close some doors, so the new things can come in for the New Year!

From my post a week or so back:
I want every part of my life to be the best it can be. There’s no more… In the meantime, I will do this… or… In the meantime, I will settle for that... I realize now that I simply want everything to be the way I want it to be!

How exciting to think of the possibilities…

Reality show inspiration

2007-12-29T22:09:00.000-08:00

My computer has been out for service for about a week now. I’ve felt lost without it, because using my computer is such a big part of my life these days. Although I still don't have it back yet, fortunately I have been able to borrow my brother-in-laws laptop for the weekend. Yes!

So what have I been doing with all of my unexpected downtime lately? Well, I have found myself watching lots of television! I try not to watch too much tv usually, but since it is the holidays without much else going on right now, I’ve allowed myself the luxury of the couch potato life for a bit. So, it has been fun watching shows I don’t always get a chance to watch.

However, since I’m so self-reflective, it’s been more interesting for me to notice the types of shows I am drawn to. I’ve been enjoying the reality shows the most, because as an observer of people I like trying to understand why people do what they do. I love shows like Top Chef, Design Star, and Project Runway. Those shows feature everyday people competing against each other in areas of their passions, such as cooking, designing spaces or clothes designing. Of course, for entertainment purposes the shows try to offer some drama with the competitions and the eliminations of the contestants. But that is not what really gets my attention. I am just really inspired by those contestants. Those are people going after their dreams. Those are people willing to take chances to try and create something meaningful and fulfilling for themselves. I just love that!

Other shows that inspire me are the True Hollywood Story shows. I am not a star-struck type person. To me, famous people are just people. However, when I hear their life stories and how they “made it”, I get very inspired. Two of my favorite Hollywood stories are of Will Smith and Rachel Ray. I wouldn’t say that I am a big fan of either of them really. I like them, but never really thought much more of them until I watched their stories. What caught my attention most was how they followed their hearts, always keeping their attention on what they loved most. In return what they got was so much greater than they ever imagined. I think they both said that actually. They focused their energies on what they loved, and the rest just seemed to come to them… the greatest opportunities and the endless possibilities.

There are so many other shows on tv that also demonstrate what I’m writing about here—from the weather person on the news, to the people on those tattoo shows, to a mogul like Kimora, to Oprah. One just needs to view them from a different perspective to get that. Basically, I am simply inspired by people who follow their guidance in doing what they love most—especially those with nontraditional dreams. I think people who live “outside the box” are the coolest. Happiness, doing what we love, and becoming successful in doing what we love isn’t only reserved for a few special people. It is available for all of us. Those people who make it big are not “luckier” than the rest of us. They are simply following what makes them happy and fulfilled.

Following my guidance, going after my dreams, focusing on what I love most, being happy and fulfilled… yep, my intention is to live that way as well. Oh, and to think that my less than productive week was still inspirational, simply by watching tv!

My own push towards empowerment

2007-12-22T23:45:00.000-08:00

One of my oldest friendships is with my high school friend John. During our high school days, he and I used to spend countless hours talking on the phone. He called me his “little sister” and I called him a clown, because even though he drove me crazy, he always made me laugh. Once we graduated however, I got married and he went into the Marines. So it wasn’t long after that we lost touch.

Even though I had no idea when we would reconnect again, I always had this feeling that we would. It was something I just knew.

Fast forward to my divorce 17 years later... It was an extremely difficult time for me, and needless to say, I was very unhappy. Of course, I had thought about John over the years, but I had no idea where he lived and it never occurred to me to try and find out after so long. However, during a conversation one day with a woman I knew, she mentioned to me that she had reconnected with a high school friend through the Classmates.com website. At the time, I had never heard of it, but later that week I decided to check it out. Still, I wasn’t thinking about John, but as I looked through the names of my class, his immediately caught my attention. I couldn’t believe it! Was it really him? Would he even remember me?

So I e-mailed him. About a week later he wrote back and then he called. He was living in Kansas City, MO. Talking to him again was surreal. It was as though no time had passed at all, and the first night we talked the entire night! He made me laugh so much during a time when I had been so miserable. Honestly, it felt like a miracle had come into my life to help me heal from so much pain I had during those difficult days.

John and I talked a lot during those first weeks of reconnecting. He would listen to my misery, but in return, crack me up with his crazy ways. Within a month or so, he flew out to visit me. It was so weird. We were so different from the teenagers we had last seen of each other, but at the same time, we were just the same. We had a blast during the time he was here… off to San Francisco, Santa Cruz, and even to the Gilroy Garlic Festival. We called it a whirlwind weekend.

When he went home, we continued our constant phone conversations. Really, he was such a savior to me in those days. But for as much as he made me laugh, there were always those moments when I would slip back into my pity party of my circumstances.

One day, I was complaining how I had nothing to do or anyone to do anything with. I was feeling quite lonely and definitely feeling very sorry for myself. I expected him to listen supportively, when suddenly his tone changed and he really began to give it to me…

He said, “Do you know how lucky you are to live where you live? You live in California—the Bay Area! There are so many things to do there.” Yes I know, I replied. But I don’t have anyone to go with. To which he immediately replied in that big brother voice, “GO BY YOURSELF! Take your camera and go take some pictures.”

Now, although I have always been quite independent, I had never really thought to go hang out by myself. I mean, I can go shopping or do what I need to do by myself, but to go sight-seeing by myself? It is so funny to me now, but I continued to debate his suggestion by explaining that there are lots of rapes and murders, and that it would just be too dangerous for a woman to go places by herself. Then in his sarcastic tone, he says, “Then lock your car door!”

What else could I say? I had no more excuses. I no longer had someone to feel sorry for me. Instead he simply became this really good friend who had just pushed me onto a big step towards empowerment.

That upcoming weekend happened to be the weekend after 9/11. I took my camera to San Francisco and began taking pictures of all of the American flags. And there were many. It was such a difficult time for the nation, obviously. But for me, it was a time of liberation. I had my camera as company, and did not feel lonely at all. The week after, I went other places to take more pictures (and even mailed him a copy as proof of following his advice). And then, it was very soon after that I began going to the beach by myself.

Since then, going to the beach and taking pictures of the sun setting in the ocean has become a BIG part of my life. Almost all of my FYJ Newsletters feature a picture I took at the beach. And most of those times taking those pictures, I was BY MYSELF! I love going to the beach alone these days, and in fact, it has become a necessary part of my life.

These days, John and I talk every couple of weeks or so. We don’t stay up talking ALL night anymore, but we do talk a long time. He still thinks he’s my big brother and he still loves to tell me what to do (I mean, give me advice!). Although he still drives me crazy, he definitely still makes me laugh.

Oh, and as much as this pains me to say, because he is quite arrogant :-) and will probably use this against me, I am very grateful and thankful to him! He always ends our conversations with telling me that he loves me, and we both know we will be friends forever.

p.s. I really don’t like this picture I put with this post because I look terrible! However, I decided on this one because every time we talk about it, we laugh our asses off. When I originally sent him a copy, from the time he had been here to visit, he pointed out how we each have one leg on the bench. That was totally unconscious, but I simply cannot see or think about that without cracking up! But it’s interesting, because I think we do lean on each other in life, maybe it’s just a symbol of our friendship!

Who I am and who I will be

2007-12-21T04:43:00.000-08:00

This has been a very interesting week for me. It was my first week home since being laid off from my day job. Although I have been a little restless at times, I haven’t exactly gone stir-crazy or anything with all this added time on my hands. It’s actually been a very contemplative week, and that has been a blessing.

I’ve written a lot this week—not necessarily here on the blog, because although I already share quite a bit about myself, I sometimes think I should hold back on sharing too much information! Oh, but here I go anyway…

During this week, I’ve thought a lot about who I am and who I still want to be. I’ve thought about where I want my focus to be, and have even thought about some of my relationships. The New Year is coming soon. That is my favorite holiday actually, and so, it’s been perfect having this time to “figure things out” and plan for what I want in 2008.

My life has been an amazing journey so far. I am proud that, for all I have experienced in my life I have found my way to total gratitude for having learned so much along the way. Above all, I have learned to be self-empowered. For me, that means I can always choose happiness, regardless of life’s difficulties. I clearly remember saying to myself at the age of 13, “I do not have a happy life.” I decided that then, and until a few years ago, I could never say I had a happy life and fully believe it. Now I say it with confidence. I am happy! …and even more so, I like who I am.

I still want more though. I want to Be more. I want to experience more. For all the uncertainties I still have in my life, I do have a knowing there is still much more for me. So here I am, ready for what is next. But what is that exactly?

Well, this is the part where I don’t usually share (with strangers anyway). It’s more personal, and I would never write about my specific relationships with others unless they knew about it. But this is more about ME than about them. It always is, actually.

I have spent a lot of time over the last couple of years preoccupied with what others thought of me, more specifically in my dating life. It’s been a fun time, but I haven’t exactly been attracting relationships that fully support who I am and what I want. I’ve spent more time trying to be who they wanted, not enough of being true to myself, and still expecting to be treated how I deserve to be treated. That combination doesn’t really work though, and I have spent a lot of time distracted by some of the lessons from those situations, preventing me from creating the whole life that I want for myself. Something within me needs to demand better, because I’m simply tired of settling for less.

Ok, so what did that little bit of information have to do with my week? Well, it’s a major part of my overall life refocusing. I want every part of my life to be the best it can be. There’s no more… In the meantime, I will do this… or… In the meantime, I will settle for that... I realize now that I simply want everything to be the way I want it to be! And my new focus needs to be on Being the person who will attract all of that to me… whatever I decide that will be. It’s still unfolding, but it’s definitely becoming clearer.

So again, it’s been a very interesting week. However, I must say that realizing I want to continue being happy, that I want to create even more for myself in the new year, and that I only want to experience the best relationships possible, has made it all very well worth this first week of being home with all the extra time. I cannot even imagine what will come up for me next week!

Pay attention... for the answers

2007-12-19T02:29:00.000-08:00

Ok, I’ve been writing a lot about asking. Asking for all we want, asking and then noticing the effects in our lives, and asking even when we don’t realize we’re asking.

But what about the answers? When do we get the answers?

Ohhh, the answers do come—that I have no doubt. We just need to pay attention to know what they are.

Since I’ve found more time on my hands these days, I’ve been asking for a lot. I’ve been asking for some clarity for this next phase in my life. I’ve been a bit restless, and while I continue to keep busy, I don’t really know if what I am doing is exactly what I should be doing. So I keep asking… asking for clarity… asking for direction.

It’s only been a couple of days, but there are a few things I have already noticed.

What I don’t want. I am getting this loud and clear. Sometimes it’s hard to know what I do want. But the moment I try to make myself do something that doesn’t feel right, I can immediately recognize that it’s something I do not want. That has really been helpful. Why try to make myself do something I don’t want to do? After all, I believe I should be happy. And doing something I don’t want to do doesn’t make me happy. Ok good! That helped in getting some clarity, because I now know that what I do want is pretty much the opposite of that which I realized I don’t want.

Listening to my guidance. At this point in time of my asking, I can really hear my guidance. My interpretation of guidance are the thoughts that come to me when I’m not really trying to get the answers. I’ve asked, but then only usually “hear” answers when my mind is most relaxed again. I mean, I’m not so pre-occupied with life, or worries, or what to do next. I’m just going about my day, being cool about everything. For me, it’s like meditating while still functioning. I’m not thinking, thinking, thinking… maybe just taking a shower or washing the dishes, or driving without the radio on full blast. In those times, I get amazing ideas—ideas I might not get if my mind was so busy, busy, busy.

Seeking inspiration. After these few days of asking, I knew I needed some inspiration. I’m always telling my clients to seek inspiration, and I do know to do that for myself as well. However, today I could tell I was extra hungry for it. There are countless ways to find inspiration, but right now for me, I needed a new book. These days I read while I’m on the Stairmaster at the gym. I usually go through the books (fiction and non-fiction) fairly quickly that way. But since finishing my last book, I haven’t been able to find a new one that keeps my interest. I have many books, lots I haven’t even read yet. But it seemed no matter which one I would take to the gym, I would find myself bored of it. So today I went to the store and bought a new one. As I started reading it this evening, I realized that it's exactly what I need. Honestly, I could write a very similar book. So far, I haven’t read anything I don’t know already. However, it doesn’t matter because it is very inspiring, I really like it, and I can tell that it’s going to give me some helpful ideas (answers).

I’m sure there is much more to come for me in regards to getting answers from my current questions. I sense the answers are already coming. But will I notice when they do? I think so. I am definitely paying attention!

Back to the gym, week 1

2007-12-16T15:42:00.000-08:00

I didn’t want to just post an inspirational note about how I got back on track of losing weight after going to the gym one day! So, I’m making myself accountable by posting how it went last week.

I went to the gym four days last week, yeah! There were a few challenges, but overall I was happy with my dedication.

Ok, so here’s my excuses for the days I didn't go...

The day I was told I was going to be laid off from work, I came home and took a nap. I wasn’t so sad or anything, but I guess I just had this feeling of… I don’t really want to think about it tonight. So I took a nap for a few hours and when I got up around 10pm, I went to 7-11 for some cupcakes. I knew that wasn’t the best idea, but as I’ve mentioned before, if I make the choice to eat it I’m going to enjoy it. So I did! I also told myself the cupcakes would be my dinner so I wouldn’t make that day of eating any worse. But then my friend came over later and we went to Weinersnitzel. It’s very close to my house, so we walked at least! I wasn’t going to get anything because it was already close to midnight, but the food smelled soooo good. I ended up having a hot dog and fries. Oh well, it was better than being depressed about losing my job. Just kidding!

I went back to the gym the very next day.

The other two days off from the gym were celebrating days.

Once a month, my sister Tracy and I go out to dinner to celebrate LIFE. Friday was our day so we went to sushi. Mmmm, sooo good. And fun company as well!

Then on Saturday, my friend Michelle and I went to Union Square for our second annual holiday trip to San Franscisco. We had a blast, and felt more than worth not going to the gym that day.

Now, it’s Sunday, and I have every intention of making it back to the gym later today. Good? Yep, I think so.

Getting what I asked for

2007-12-15T05:24:00.000-08:00

As I mentioned before, I have more to say about the topic of asking and receiving. So here’s more…

We are constantly asking for more in life. Even if we don’t realize that we are asking, we are. Our asking isn’t just as simple as saying, something like, “I want this...” That is only one way. Our asking comes in the form of thinking about what we want and don’t want, talking about what we want and don’t want, and feeling how we feel about what we want and don’t want. All of that energy we put out as a result of how we are feeling is actually bringing us our life experience. Whatever we are focused on brings us exactly that, even if it’s not what we consciously asked for. So when we become aware of this, we understand that we always get EXACTLY what we ask for.

If this is unclear, let me share a bit more what is going on with me at the moment.

Sixteen months ago I got a “job”. Since closing my store, I have been coaching. But since it hasn’t been a full time thing for me, I decided to get a job to pay my basic bills. It wasn’t a career move by any means. It was simply something I could do that would pay some bills.

My intention was to stay at this company for one year. In the meantime, I would work on my coaching business so I would eventually do it full-time. After all, I strongly believe we should only do what we love. And coaching/inspiring people to live an empowered life is what I love most.

Well, I got complacent in my lifestyle. As I mentioned in December's FYJ Newsletter, my home-life changed last year with my daughter moving out. I got comfortable in a new routine of going to work during the day, coaching after work and on weekends, and then doing whatever else I wanted to do the rest of the time. It’s been good, but that feeling of wanting to coach, teach or doing something related full-time has never left me. In fact, it’s a continuous feeling that sharing inspiration needs to be the biggest part of my life. But as I said, I got comfortable with my daily habit of working. It was just easy to go to work for a paycheck, and not worry about building any business or creating anything bigger for myself.

This past summer, as my one year anniversary at work approached, I started thinking more consciously about my original intent of only staying there a year. But I hadn’t done enough to really do anything about leaving the job. So I simply stayed. In the last several months I became less and less content with doing that job. It was simply too boring for me. I loved everyone I worked with though, so I ignored my feelings about being uncomfortable. I still felt uncomfortable, but ignored it. This is what I mean about wanting more, but not paying attention to what we’re asking for, regardless.

I was actually asking to live my life doing only that which I love. My energy was low when I went to work. My enthusiasm for what I was doing was even lower. I just did what I had to do at work and nothing more, even though I am capable of so much more. I focused on the other parts of my life to make it easier to ignore my unease at work, and used the excuse that I liked everyone at work so that I wouldn’t have to admit to myself that I wasn't really happy there.

But there was no doubt in my mind, when I allowed myself to think about it, I needed to move on.

A few weeks ago my company announced that they were doing cut backs, and that meant layoffs for my area. Now, I have not planned to NOT be working, so it’s not like I should have been happy about that news. But I was ecstatic! I felt like I was going to be free! Finally, I thought to myself, I can spend more time doing what I love! But wait… how am I really going to deal with this? I am not prepared for this change.

I KNOW that I am getting exactly what I was asking for. I wanted a change. I needed a change. And I asked for this change!

While everyone else in the company has been stressed and worried about their job, I found myself with more energy than I had had in months. I didn’t exactly volunteer to get laid off, but I told them that I would be fine with being the first one to go. So I was, and Friday was my last day.

It's good. Now, I am taking a new road on my journey. I have ideas of what I’m going to do, but don’t know how it will turn out exactly. I’m moving forward with confidence that all is well.

When I left my real job (my 14 year career in high tech) in 2003 to open a business, I had taken a class called “Creating the work you love” with Rick Jarow. In that class I got the courage to follow my guidance—the guidance within me telling me to move on. The teacher said something like, “If your guidance is asking you to do something more, why wouldn’t the Universe support you in getting it?” That statement felt so true, and has since always given me courage to go on with what I really want to do. I know that I will be supported and I know that I will always ok. I have experienced enough life transitions to know that I always land in a better place, and so I am not worried at all. In fact, I am excited!

This life is amazing. Although we always get what we ask for, sometimes we need to remind ourselves that we are exactly where we need to be in order to get it. There’s still much to do, and I am so happy to get started.

More to come… as always!

Inspirational friendship

2007-12-10T14:30:00.000-08:00

I am blessed to have great friends. One of my most special and unique relationships is with my friend Jenny.

When I opened For Your Journey Inspirational Center (for those of you who don’t know, it was an inspirational book store, gift shop, with offerings of yoga classes and self-discovery workshops) I met Jenny as a customer. She started coming to FYJ soon after I opened, in the Fall of 2003. She was the sweetest. As she looked through the books, she would tell me about herself and of her dreams. She had such an inspiring story of how she came from Sweden to pursue her dreams here in America. She was a student at the time, but talked of doing such big and remarkable things in the future. I just remember thinking to myself, “This girl wants to save the world, and I just know she’s going to do it.”

She became a regular at the store, and within a couple of months, during one of our conversations I shared with her about wanting to take a vacation. I knew I couldn’t go so shortly after opening my store, but as she listened to me, she eagerly volunteered to run the store for me so I could go. Even though I had only known her a short time, I totally trusted that she could do it. It was as though I had known her all of my life.

Well, for those of you who know Jenny from FYJ, you know that she loved the place just as much as I did. I could never pay her very much, but she was so loyal anyway, and I cannot express the gift she was to my life… while the store was open, and ever since!

Jenny and I have a very special friendship. It’s one like I have never known before. Sometimes friends bond over the difficulties of life (I have friends like that as well). It is so easy to get sucked into the “reality” that life is hard. And the more we talk about it, the more we agree how “true” it is. That way of talking is so easy to fall into (even for an empowerment coach like me!). Even though we want something better than what we’re talking about, the problem is that we are focused on what we DON’T want. And that is not helpful at all in attracting what we DO want!

My friendship with Jenny, however, is pure inspiration. When we talk, we can go on for hours, discussing all of the possibilities in life. We each have our unique dreams. However, in our conversations we focus on how they are all going to come true. Yes, we do acknowledge what is true today, but as we discuss what we want, we fully support each other in believing what is true today isn’t what needs to be true tomorrow. We know that anything we want is possible. And so when we discuss all that we want, we have a knowing that we can have it. Then, as we leave each other after having had such a highly inspired conversation, we leave with an excitement like I have never shared with anyone else before.

Everyone should be so blessed to have such a supportive someone to share their dreams with. Everyone should be surrounded by people who support them with everything they want. In fact, much of my coaching is simply giving people permission to want what they want. If you don’t have friends who support you in what you want, set the intention to attract them into your life. Support your friends with their dreams, and see how they return the favor. Or simply seek out more friends. We all want to be happy, and having friends who support our dreams is definitely an inspirational way to live our lives.

Jenny is off to Sweden for the holidays. I am sure going to miss her!

Jenny's business is Life and Harmony Coaching and her new Blog is in progress!

Back to the gym

2007-12-08T19:45:00.000-08:00

Last spring I decided I wanted to lose some weight. So back in May I joined a gym and began going quite religiously. I’m not athletic by any means, but it actually started becoming fun. And although the weight was coming off extremely slow, I definitely felt the difference. My confidence increased while the pounds decreased, and while I still had a ways to go until I hit my goal, I really was feeling great!

Sometime in the last three or four weeks, however, I stopped going to the gym. Until then I had a routine. I’m a night person, so I would come home from my day, rest for awhile, then hit the gym around 8 or 9pm. I would be there for an hour or so, come home, take a shower, and then go to bed feeling really good.

But as I said, I simply stopped going. I cannot even remember why. With the weather changing, it's just been easier to come home and stay home. But the weight is starting to creep back up. And the more I focus on it, the heavier the pounds are starting to feel. Ughhh. I’ve lost good amounts of weight a couple of times before, only to have gained more back than I’ve lost. So, I remember the frustration as I wondered the purpose of doing all that work for seemingly no reason. But I am not that person who thinks that way anymore. I choose to be empowered and now prefer to be responsible for creating what I want for myself!

So how can I stop this self-sabotage? How do I get myself back on track to looking and feeling good? Well, I started thinking about the time of year it is. Why go back to the gym now? After all, it’s the holidays. People often stop working out during this time, then restart their workout routines in the New Year. So maybe I’ll just wait until then? Nooo. I need to go back to the gym sooner than that.

So for the last week or so, I have said to myself that I'll go back tomorrow. Every day, the same thing. Tomorrow. Tomorrow.

This morning I thought, TODAY. I am going back today. I didn’t have any big plans for the day, so I’d take it easy, work on my coaching stuff, and then go to the gym this evening. It was all planned out. Finally!

Around 5pm my friend called and asked if I’d like to go out for a drink tonight. Yes, of course I would! It was on. I now had plans for the night and was very excited. As I got back into my work though, it suddenly hit me that my first plan was to go to the gym tonight. Ahhh man, now I'll have to wait until tomorrow to go. No, I CANNOT wait another day!

So I immediately got myself up off the couch, changed into my gym clothes and went to the gym. I couldn’t think about it anymore. I just had to go. Now I am so proud of myself. Although I only stayed about 45 minutes, (I guess the lack of working out lately made those 45 minutes quite tiring) I am still very happy I went, especially because I should be more motivated to go back tomorrow.

Now, I’m off to get ready for my night out. Although I’ll probably drink more calories than I worked off this evening, at least I feel hopeful that I'll soon be back on track. Yeah! Have a great evening. I sure will!

Sisters

2007-12-07T10:00:00.000-08:00

I usually describe myself as being raised as an only child. I actually have four sisters and one brother. However, for the most part, I wasn’t really raised with them. I was raised mostly by my dad, my paternal grandmother and my uncle. Because of my non-traditional upbringing, most of my life I’ve had this kind of a negative attitude about family relationships. I always felt something big lacking in regards to family, and wore the idea of having no “real” family like it was a badge or something. It’s how I defined myself. I would explain that although I did have siblings, I wasn’t raised with any of them, so that was why we weren’t very close.

My brother and I have the same father and different mothers. But my sisters and I have the same mother and different fathers. I have two older sisters with whom I have the most memories from childhood. When I would visit them and my mom while growing up, my sisters would take turns taking me places, like to the movies or with them to hang out with their friends’. Although I felt like they were babysitting me, those were still very special times. However, I think because it was so painful to always be leaving them, as I grew, I simply blocked the potential for any real sisterly feelings. Then as an adult, it was just easier for me to use the circumstance of being raised separately as an excuse for not being closer to them.

As for my two younger sisters, they were born when I was already a teenager. While I loved being close to them when they were little, my mom moved to Denver when they were young. So, since I missed most of their childhood, there was my excuse for not being close to them either.

However, this past year something big has shifted for me in my relationships with my sisters. I’m not even sure how or why, but something is definitely different. I have come to absolutely LOVE my sisters!

The two younger ones are grown now, and still don’t live in California, so unfortunately I don’t see or even talk to them often. However, one is a mother now, and the other one happens to be celebrating her birthday today, and so I really do think of them more these days.

My older sisters, however, have become extra special to me. They are both married and have their own lives, but as I said, something has shifted in my feelings for them. I talk to them much more these days. I enjoying being with them more. And I simply appreciate them more than ever.

In thinking about how this happened, I would have to say that I am a little surprised. After all, my two older sisters and I are all now in our 40’s. So I would think that if we haven’t been able to be close up to now, it would probably never happen. However, I believe it is something within ME that has changed. Maybe I have let my guard down, finally allowing myself to receive the love they have always tried to give me. One of them has always tried to be closer to me, but I never really knew how to reciprocate. But in a recent conversation with my other sister, she began telling me how much I was always loved. She said that when I would visit them as a child, I was so special, that the two of them would fight for my attention. No way, I replied. That is not the way I remember it at all! I had always felt like such a burden, coming to visit and disturbing their lives. I honestly believed that I was unwanted. So I cannot even describe how shocking it was to hear how they really felt about me—all these years later.

I was never unwanted. I was always loved. But I didn’t know that, because as I grew I continued to believe what I created in my mind as a child.

These days, I am so happy because I am free from that misguided belief. It's so much easier now to allow the love from my sisters into my life. I can appreciate that I do have a real family, and in fact, had one all along. I now accept their love and freely give my love to them in return. And while it feels long overdue, it is definitely not too late!

So here’s to ALL my very special sisters today, with love.

** After I wrote this post, I thought it would be nice to add a picture of the three of us older sisters from when we were little. I never remember seeing this particular picture before, but this is what I found as I went through what I had. It immediately stood out to me because my sisters are hugging me as if to have me for themselves. How cool for me to find this now! On the back, my mom wrote, "Late Christmas for Donna, Jan 1970" I still have that stuffed dog today too. His name is Marky.

** And here we are today... all grown up.

p.s. My sister Tracy is a huge inspiration to me these days. I am thinking of her much today as well. She is living her own amazing journey and has gone through an amazing transformation. You can read all about it on Tracy's Blog.

p.s.s. I’ll write about my very special brother (who I am soooo proud of) another day!

The thing about asking

2007-12-05T11:09:00.000-08:00

Oh, I am so sorry, but I forgot to warn you about an important consequence of asking for all you want! (This is a follow up to my post last week, “ALL I want” from 11/26/07.)

First, let me explain a funny thing about me… I am very courageous when it comes to the big things in life (not so much the little things, but I’ll leave that for a different day). I can make life transitions easily… well, maybe “easily” is not the right word. I think I simply replace the fear of the unknown with a knowing that all will be well. I don’t worry about the future because I have been through enough tough times to know that the future is always BETTER than from where I’ve been. In my head, I do sometimes think I’m crazy when I don’t worry. I think to myself, “I should probably be worrying about this!” But I simply don’t. As one of my favorite quotes goes, "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength." -Mary Englebreit

And one thing I hate to feel is weak, so not worrying just feels better to me.

Now as a new life transition is happening to me again, I’m in a place where someone else in my shoes may just be a little worried about things. My friends are telling me they are always amazed when they see how I don’t worry about things like this. I just remain in my usual state of optimism, especially because I know that I brought this transition upon myself. After all, I asked for it!

Then this led me to think about what I have suggested to you in asking for all you want. I have practiced the asking, the unknowns, and the transitions enough to know what I was getting myself into when I suggested such a thing for us all. I knew, for myself, that I was going to shake up my world. It simply makes sense that if I am asking for bigger and better things, that situations in my life would have to change in order for those things to come. I have understood this for awhile. But, I sometimes forget that people who listen to me may not know that.

Certainly, when I meet my clients for the first time, I warn them what they are getting into. I know that if they are at the point of coming to talk to me, they must be asking questions about their lives. We all want to understand our lives and we want to be happy. And when we don’t understand or are not as happy as we suspect you could be, we start asking those life questions. That is what I did! And from my years of speaking to so many of you, I get that is what you are doing as well.

Anyway, back to my warning, haha… If you are asking for more, hold on. You may very well experience unexpected shifts in your life (relationships, financial, etc). You may think, “This is not what I was asking for.” Maybe it isn’t exactly what you envisioned, but this is what sometimes happens in order to give you what you ARE asking for. Sometimes people give up in times like this because although they do want more, the change around them gets scary. And sometimes people simply stop asking for more because the change is just too much for them. I understand—the unknown can definitely be unsettling.

For me, I am in the place of change again (and as always). Although I didn't know exactly what would happen, I did expect something because as I said, I asked for it. And I am aware of what that means for my life, even if it’s uncomfortable for awhile. Right now, there are unknowns going on for me, and I admit it is a little unsettling. At the same time though, it’s actually very exciting! I feel movement in my life and that feeling, above all the uncertainty, helps me know that what I’m asking for is coming.

I have many more thoughts on this topic, so there may be more to come from me. In the meantime though, please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. This is one area where I have experienced much, and I am always very willing to help you along on your journey as well. Above all though, know that if you do have the courage to stick with your asking, and the unknown changes it may bring, it is very well worth it. You will land in the place you are seeking, and it will simply be wonderful!

Owning my choices

2007-12-02T23:29:00.000-08:00

Fortunately, I’m not one for regrets. For me, it never made much sense to regret past choices. Yes, I do sometimes think back and wish I would have made a different choice. However, there’s nothing I can do to change what has already happened. So I could say that I am usually pretty good at spending as little time as possible thinking about the “what ifs”.

When it comes to making new choices, however, my feelings are a little different. Whenever I’m conflicted about what to do, I spend lots of time thinking about the consequences of making a particular choice. How will I know which is the better choice? And, even if I don’t regret my choice afterwards, will I still look back and wish I would have made a different one? It’s almost as though I have feelings of regret beforehand, and this is where I usually spend too much time being unsure about myself or what to do.

A couple of days ago I had to make a choice. It wasn’t a difficult choice really, rather something as simple as wanting to ask someone a question. However, with this particular person I was unsure about how he would take the question. I was actually concerned about how I would be perceived by asking this question! Therefore, the idea of not asking the question was just as appealing to me as actually asking.

While there’s much more to the situation than I’m sharing here, I got something quite important for myself as I went through all of the possible outcomes from making my decision to ‘ask this question’. I realized that what I really want is the answer to my question. And, whatever the outcome or whatever this person would think of me by asking was not the issue. Asking the question was simply more important to me than what this person would think of me.

So I made a choice to ask the question, but even more importantly, simply own my choice.

Well, this is the part where I bet you think I tell you how well it worked out. Not necessarily. I didn’t even get an answer to my question. And although one might think that if I would have chosen to not ask the question, that would have been the better choice, I do not think so. I think making the choice, and being happy that I made that choice, is the best thing for me. The outcome doesn’t really matter.

I often get asked by my clients about choices they should make for their lives. I really try not to answer those questions because they are not my choices to make. However, one thing I do often say is, make whatever choice you want and then be happy with that choice. That is actually a much more empowering place to be. Have you ever eaten a piece of cake, saying all along, “I shouldn’t be eating this.”? That is not an empowering act. Owning your choice is. So if you make the choice to eat that cake, ENJOY IT!

Or, if you are like me and have NEVER been conflicted about whether to eat a piece of cake (Haha), rather find yourself instead in a crazy decision-making place like me about whether or not to ask someone a question, make your choice and just be proud of yourself no matter what.

Oh, and before you find yourself regretting anything as a result of your choices, I once read a very inspirational quote that went something like this… “Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted” Now that is an empowering way to look at choice!

Moods

2007-11-28T13:57:00.000-08:00

Last night as I went to sleep I was in a really good mood. I even remember thinking how good it felt as I climbed into my bed with my freshly washed sheets.

This morning, however, was a completely different story. I had to get up a bit earlier than usual. Believe me, I don’t get up early at all. For me, “early” is actually much later than for most! I am just not a morning person, so anytime I have to get up before my usual time, I tend to be a bit grouchy. So, I did what I needed to do out of my normal schedule this morning, and that was fine. But I just had that “off” feeling. Then as my day progressed I noticed that my mood wasn’t getting any better. In fact, I had an attitude with a couple of people, which then seemed to lead me to start thinking about all the things in my life that were not going the way I wanted them to go. I started thinking about all the people in my life who are not doing what I want them to do, and even began getting mad. Why won’t they just do what I want them to do? Why are they so thoughtless? Ughhh!

Ok, so it’s now after noon time and I’ve had enough of this grouchiness. I could go on and on all day thinking about all the things that are going wrong for me. I could continue to make the rest of the poor people around me today feel miserable because I simply feel like treating them the way I’m feeling right now.

But I’ve decided to just stop!

I’m getting back to the place that I know feels better. There are thousands of things going right in my life. There are millions of things to be happy about and millions of things to be grateful for. I can choose a different mood starting right now. So I have.

And do you know what? Simply spending these few minutes writing this post today, I already feel so MUCH better! And even during the time of writing this post, I got a call for a lunch appointment for this weekend that I am quite excited about. (That’s my proof for the Law of Attraction!)

Anyway, it’s nice to know that the quality of my life is as simple as making a choice. Sometimes the bad mood just seems to creep out of nowhere. But for me, the shortest amount of time I can stay in that uncomfortable place the better. So… back to my day, but with a much better mood. Hope you have a great day, because I sure will!

Donna

p.s. By synchronicity, I ran across this quote today....
"Up to a point a man's life is shaped by environment, heredity, and movements and changes in the world about him. Then there comes a time when it lies within his grasp to shape the clay of his life into the sort of thing he wishes to be. Only the weak blame parents, their race, their times, lack of good fortune, or the quirks of fate. Everyone has it within his power to say, 'This I am today; that I will be tomorrow.'" - Louis L'Amour

ALL I Want

2007-11-26T21:04:00.000-08:00

Each year-end/new year I offer a Setting Intentions workshop. I love doing this workshop because I really enjoy sharing a process which helps people attract more easily what they want for themselves. As with all of my teaching and coaching, I only share what personally works for me. And since I set my own intentions using this process, I can share this knowledge with confidence.

Lately however, while working on some ideas for my own life, I began thinking about the upcoming New Year. I love this time of year because it always seems so much easier to make fresh starts in areas I want to change. After all, that is the idea behind New Year resolutions.

I have to admit though, this year-end has been very interesting for me in regards to coming up with areas in which I make fresh starts. I am simply finding it difficult to come up with anything too big. Of course, there’s always the relationship thing, the money thing, the weight-loss thing, the career thing, etc… But I have been working in all those areas, and while there’s definitely always more progress to be made, there still seems to be something more missing other than just the idea of accelerating the success in those areas. And so I am wondering… Am I really thinking about all I want? In a big way?

I don’t think so.

Over the last couple of years, I have noticed not only for me, but also for some of my clients, that asking for all we want can be a challenge. Even some of you who come to my Setting Intentions workshops have trouble identifying what to set an intention for exactly. And this is where I am finding myself as well. But why the lack of clarity?

I have been thinking about this quite a bit lately...

What is coming to me is that I am afraid to ask for all that I want. Afraid? Why would I be afraid to ask for something I want? Other people seem to do it so easily. Although I do have an idea of where this difficulty for me comes from, I’ve decided not to focus on that, rather simply decided to work through the fear of it.

This New Year I am going to be asking for ALL that I want. I am really going to work on this list. I am not only going to come up with a long list, I am going to think about all the reasons why I want all those things. Remembering that I deserve it all is key. But what is also important is that I am going to go full out, go into detail, think big, and start asking for it ALL. Enough of this small thinking. Enough of this small asking. I want it ALL, and as soon as possible.

Join me by thinking of ALL that you want for yourself as well. Don’t put limits on what you want. Don’t worry about the feasibility of having those things. Don’t think about how you will actually get those things. Just ask. And ask for it ALL!

So watch out… I think there will soon be an offering for the “ALL I Want” workshop. After all, as I said, I teach what I learn for myself. More to come…

Donna

More sharing

2007-11-25T15:17:00.000-08:00

In between my newsletters I often think of things I'd like to share. However, the process of creating newsletters is time-consuming, so I don't usually send them out as much as I'd like, thus missing opportunities to share more with you. So this blog is my latest idea for keeping you more up to date with my sharing.

More to come... Hope you enjoy.

Donna
http://www.foryourjourney.com