I had to get up at 4am to take my uncle to the hospital. He was having his gall bladder removed. These days, it’s a minor surgery and patients leave the same day. So we were to be at the hospital at 5:30am, which we were. I expected to be there about 4 hours maximum and had even planned on going to work after lunchtime.
But that was not meant to be. First, I was extremely sleepy. I had a very busy weekend and didn’t get enough rest by the time I had to get up this morning. Once I got my uncle situated where he needed to be, I was able to go to my car and get a bit more rest. But two hours later as I went back up to his room, he was still not back from surgery/recovery. The nurse said it would be another hour or two. Fine. I went to the cafeteria and had breakfast, then out to my car for a bit longer. Awhile later, I again went up to the room. Again, I was told an hour or two more.
This was the pattern for most of the mid-morning to lunch time. I kept being told an hour or two more. Apparently my uncle was fine, but the time continued to drag.
Finally, around 12:30pm he was back in his room. But the first thing the nurse said was that he needed to stay until 3pm because the doctor had prescribed another dose of a medicine that needed to be taken then. I had had enough! Important to note, I hate being in hospitals! My uncle has been there so much over the last few years, and even more so this year, that I think I’ve simply run out of tolerance for being there. Honestly, it doesn’t have anything to do with my uncle. I want to help him. I just don’t ever want to go to a hospital again!
So the day was getting extremely frustrating for me. Each time I heard that it would be an hour or two more I felt everything inside of me tense up. I felt as though I was in prison and badly needed to escape. I hadn’t planned on staying there so long, so I didn’t even have a book to read. And my thoughts just kept getting more and more negative as the day progressed.
I was reminded recently that the thoughts we have attract like thoughts. In other words, the type of thoughts one is thinking is immediately followed by other similar thoughts. Good thoughts lead to other good thoughts. And negative thoughts lead to other negative thoughts. And I was definitely having negative thoughts today.
I was thinking how stuck I felt there… which led to thinking how many times I’ve been in a hospital and not liking it… which led to how I wasn’t making any money today because I wasn’t working… which led to thinking how upset I am with certain family members who do not work and who didn’t help out today… which led to thinking about my bigger family problems… which led to how hard my life has been ever since I was born!!!! It was CRAZY!
The funny thing about it all… seriously, it was funny… was that I was fully aware of this runaway thought process. During it, I understood what was happening. I recalled what I had heard about thoughts attracting like thoughts. So I knew what was happening. And it was as though I also had another thought process going on simultaneously. I was amused at what I was doing. I was trying to stop the runaway thinking, and would interrupt it by thinking of something in my life that was going positively. But then, the negative thoughts just came rushing back. I then thought how freeing it would be once I got out of there. I mean, they would eventually have to let us go! I could only imagine! So a moment of peace… then the negative thoughts just came right back.
Eventually it was as though I had two conversations going on in my head at the same time. The one that just wanted to complain about being stuck in that hospital, along with every single other bad thing in my life, and the other one that found it very amusing and simply told Donna to just chill out! Honestly, I did find it amusing among all the chaos going on in my head.
Crazy day… but I’m very happy to report that all the voices in my head are calm tonight! And life is good again. Thank goodness! : )
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