My choices, my reasons

Today was an interesting day. It was one of those days that had a theme. On one hand I love days like this, because synchronicity shows up clearly, and that is always fun for me to notice. On the other hand, if the theme is one where I have to look at myself in a certain way, it can really throw me off track a bit.

But it’s all good.

The day was just filled with several explanations of my personal life choices. With most people in my world, I am often supported in my decisions. They “admire” who I am and often compliment me on the courage I carry along on my journey. I never set out for people to look up to me in any way. I just live how I live. I share a lot about myself. That often inspires people. And I am fortunate to hear about it.

Today’s discussions weren’t really out of the ordinary for me. However, I did feel as though I was defending myself a bit more than usual. That was weird! And it was with four separate people in four separate conversations—two people who don’t know me very well and two who actually know me quite well.

With the two who don’t know me as well, I found myself explaining a lot of my life story. That is not unusual for me at all! But in some of their responses, I sensed as though I needed to give better “reasons” for having made some of the choices I’ve made.

With the other two people, who know me much better, I also felt as though I was explaining why I am making yet other life choices for myself. And that was unusually uncomfortable for me.

So, in reviewing my day, I am reminded of all the “explaining” I did.

From teaching empowerment, I am very aware that it is not those people who gave me a hard time. Whether or not they had any judgment on my personal choices is of no relevance. I make choices. I explain why I do what I do. And really, that is good enough. However, when I feel uneasy about the answers I give, then it is my self-confidence that comes into question—not my choices.

I believe that I have a healthy level of self-confidence. But when I find myself feeling as though I did today, I realize that there is still work to be done in that area for me. I never regret my choices, because I am very conscientious in the decisions I make for myself.

Where those feelings came from today, I have no idea. I’m not so worried though. As I sit here tonight, thinking about my life, I am just as excited about who I am, what I do, and where I’m going. Nothing is ever a waste, not even today’s experience. I will take what I’ve realized about myself today and work on it tomorrow.

All is well!