In my dreams

Oh, I’m really enjoying this idea of themed days (see prior post). I’ve now moved into a new theme...

I’m always telling my clients how essential it is to continue seeking inspiration. It's important because being inspired makes creating a fulfilling life so much easier. And for me, it is no different. I quickly sense when I need inspiration, and so as I've been noticing my less than enthusiastic feelings over the last couple of days, I decided that I better look for new ways to be inspired.

So I went to the internet. This is an easy way to find inspiration as there’s simply no end to what is out there. And so being the night owl that I am, I ended up spending a good amount of time last night surfing the internet. It was fun, because I was specifically seeking inspiration. I started by going to some of my favorite websites, then followed their favorite links, and ultimately ended up in all kinds of unexpectedly cool places.

Soon I found myself on a few Myspace pages. I ended up watching an online segment from an Oprah show where the teachers from the movie, The Secret, were on. They were explaining manifestation, or how to create what we want. One simply said, “Dream it up”. I loved that, because so often people only think to follow that which already exists—when there are so many other possibilities just waiting to be realized. Or sometimes, people simply limit their dreams because they focus on all the obstacles that may prevent them from actually getting what they want.

Anyway, in my seeking last night, I also found a Myspace page for one of my favorite authors, Paulo Coelho. I know that he is so famous, and he has people who handle the site for him. But I did notice that his site sends a comment back to those who ask to be his “friend”. So eagerly, I sent in my request in to be his “friend”. The comment pictured above is what I got back.

I feel very excited by this synchronicity. As a person who works at following her dreams and has also learned how to be grateful for whatever that journey brings, it is so nice to be reminded that what I am doing is supported by those who inspire me.

I am starting a new group workshop this week in which we will be discussing how to create what we want for ourselves—in other words, how to follow our dreams! Learning and experiencing how to create my own fulfilling life is the ultimate way to be able to teach that to others. My own dreams are so grand, so wonderful, and are so very possible. I want everyone to live their own dreams as well. And so, now I am even more excited that my new group will be starting soon. I am so grateful to all of those out in the world who inspire me, as it is surely in my dreams to pass it on…

* More info: Create it! Group, starting 1/30/08
* Myspace, For Your Journey

My choices, my reasons

Today was an interesting day. It was one of those days that had a theme. On one hand I love days like this, because synchronicity shows up clearly, and that is always fun for me to notice. On the other hand, if the theme is one where I have to look at myself in a certain way, it can really throw me off track a bit.

But it’s all good.

The day was just filled with several explanations of my personal life choices. With most people in my world, I am often supported in my decisions. They “admire” who I am and often compliment me on the courage I carry along on my journey. I never set out for people to look up to me in any way. I just live how I live. I share a lot about myself. That often inspires people. And I am fortunate to hear about it.

Today’s discussions weren’t really out of the ordinary for me. However, I did feel as though I was defending myself a bit more than usual. That was weird! And it was with four separate people in four separate conversations—two people who don’t know me very well and two who actually know me quite well.

With the two who don’t know me as well, I found myself explaining a lot of my life story. That is not unusual for me at all! But in some of their responses, I sensed as though I needed to give better “reasons” for having made some of the choices I’ve made.

With the other two people, who know me much better, I also felt as though I was explaining why I am making yet other life choices for myself. And that was unusually uncomfortable for me.

So, in reviewing my day, I am reminded of all the “explaining” I did.

From teaching empowerment, I am very aware that it is not those people who gave me a hard time. Whether or not they had any judgment on my personal choices is of no relevance. I make choices. I explain why I do what I do. And really, that is good enough. However, when I feel uneasy about the answers I give, then it is my self-confidence that comes into question—not my choices.

I believe that I have a healthy level of self-confidence. But when I find myself feeling as though I did today, I realize that there is still work to be done in that area for me. I never regret my choices, because I am very conscientious in the decisions I make for myself.

Where those feelings came from today, I have no idea. I’m not so worried though. As I sit here tonight, thinking about my life, I am just as excited about who I am, what I do, and where I’m going. Nothing is ever a waste, not even today’s experience. I will take what I’ve realized about myself today and work on it tomorrow.

All is well!

My flight to the job I love

In 1989 when I got a job at HP, it was my dream come true. I was 22 years old, and although it was such a simple accounting job, it was everything I wanted at the time. My starting salary was $2,000/mo. I remember feeling as though I won the lotto! Sooo much money!

My journey in the fourteen years at HP was a blessing. I was able to learn a lot, contribute a lot, raise my daughter with the flexibility the company offered me, and buy homes, cars, etc with the income it eventually afforded me. It was truly a blessing.

But in 2003, I knew that journey was over. I had gotten what I needed from that experience and was ready for whatever was next.

What was next though?

I took a class called “Creating the Work You Love”. I often talk about this class, because it truly changed my life. (Well, lots of things have changed my life, but this is one of the big ones.) At the time, I didn’t exactly know what “work” I wanted to do. I just knew it wasn’t what I had been doing. So, when the teacher (Rick Jarow) started the class with, “I know there’s something you want to do, but you are not sure what that is…” I thought to myself, “How does he know that?” Well, the whole class was like that for me. He just seemed to know what I felt and what I was thinking.

I could explain my whole experience of that class, but that will take a whole chapter of a book. For now, I am only sharing one part of the class that I am reminded of today.

In the class, we were walked through a meditation/visualization. To be honest, while I had a spark of an idea of what I did want to do, I had nowhere near the confidence I needed to actually make the move. However, in the meditation, we were asked to imagine ourselves as an animal, any animal. So, I imagined myself to be what I had imagined myself to be ever since I was a kid. Then he asked us to imagine ourselves as that animal in our favorite setting. Well, that was easy, because my favorite setting is the beach.

As a kid, who didn’t enjoy her childhood, I always imagined myself as a bird--maybe to fly away, or to simply be free to go wherever I wanted. I don’t know. I just knew I wanted to fly. But in that meditation, I actually wanted to stop myself from imagining myself as a bird. Instead, I thought to myself… I don’t want to be a bird now. Birds fly. I don’t even like flying in a plane. I like to be stable, on solid ground. So instead, I imagined myself sitting in a tree. I was a bird, sitting in a tree, looking out at the ocean.

When the meditation was complete, the teacher explained what each part of the visualization meant. I don’t even remember it all. But one thing very clear to me was at that point in my life, I wanted/needed a career change. However, like that bird, I was simply too afraid to fly.

With that, and many other amazing things I got from the class, I found the courage to leave my job at HP and start planning for my new inspirational center, to be named For Your Journey. Since I had come from a company who was big on branding, and because I am very methodical in how I do things, I decided that getting a logo and creating my website would be the first best start. So that is what I did. I found a graphic artist who listened to my ideas so that he could come up with what I wanted. I told him that my business would be called For Your Journey, so for the logo... maybe a path, or a sunset or a dove or a beach scene would be good. More than anything though, I had imagined a picture of a path (a journey).

Now this happened many month’s after that class I had taken. But if you can imagine my total shock as I opened the email with the initial sketch of my new logo… a bird flying over the ocean! My graphic artist had no idea what he gave me, but I knew right then… I was no longer afraid to fly, because I was flying! I had begun my new journey and from here life would forever be different.

So much has happened since then. And as I much as I share, there is still much more. Most exciting so far though, is where I’ve landed these days. Who I am now as a person is so much greater than who I could ever have imagined myself to be. I inspire people every single day because I found the courage to fly. I live in pure joy in doing what I do, and can only imagine even more as I continue on this journey of mine.

This is how life is supposed to be. We are supposed to be happy. We are supposed to love every part of our lives. We should even love our jobs. And I definitely do, thankfully!

Sometimes I just need a nap

How funny that my last post was called “Always at peace”, because it’s as though the Universe has been testing me on that over the last couple of days.

I have been frustrated in dealing with something I tried to get closure on at the end of the year. It seems to have crept into my new year, and it’s distracting me. I have also been frustrated by a situation in which I didn’t listen to my guidance. You know, one of those things where you just had the “feeling”? You just knew you should do something, but you ignore it, hoping that what you’re feeling is not right. And then when the consequences show up in your life as a result of not following that feeling, you say to yourself, “I knew it!” Unfortunately, that happened to me yesterday as well.

So, stuff seemed to start piling up. Fortunately though, I know better than to go down the road of gathering up more crap to add to the pile of frustration. I know I cannot stay in that space of being frustrated by things, then add to it by thinking about all the other things also not going right. I really know the consequences of that!

So for me, when things start feeling a bit too much, I take a nap. I LOVE my sleep! Even though I’ve heard too much sleeping could be a sign of depression, I would never put that label on myself, especially because these days I do not stay in my upset for too long at all. I simply feel bad for a bit, beat myself up mentally for as short of time as possible, take a nap, and then wake up having let it go.

While I’m not sure all of that is the best way to go, I am still proud that I only stay in the place of frustration for a short amount of time. And while I have not yet mastered how to live a life void of less-than-perfect-days, I will surely always stay dedicated to returning to my preferred state of peace.

Sleep brings me peace. It ended up being a VERY long nap last night. In fact, I slept so long, it would be embarrassing to admit here. But I feel much better today. I am happy to see the sun out today and to also have been invited to yet another SJ Sharks game for tonight (box seats even!). The Universe has again reminded me today that ALL IS WELL. I had my sleep and it’s now time to get back to my good life. Whatever happened before today has already happened. It’s over and there’s nothing more to do about it in this moment. After all, this moment is perfect actually!

Have a great weekend!

Always at peace

Yesterday I sent out my FYJ Newsletter. Even though I always get nice responses from people telling me how much they liked it, I often think about what more I can do for them. If people would only understand how much happier being empowered could make them…

Instead, I find myself wondering about the 3 out of 500 people who unsubscribed from my mailing list!

Last night as I was trying to fall asleep, I began thinking about why I do what I do (coaching that is). I LOVE coaching! I believe I have found my purpose—for this stage of my life anyway. I simply don’t want to do anything else. But sometimes I have to remind myself WHY I coach.

In my “former life” (prior to the year 2000 for me) I was quite unhappy—not all the time of course, but I would say that I was more often unhappy than I was happy. I simply didn’t understand life as much as I do today. And in that unhappiness, I not only attracted negative situations to my life, but I also behaved in a less than positive way. In other words, I could be really bitchy at times. Really!

For example, I remember arguing with people if I believed they cut in line ahead of me. I wouldn’t just get mad, but I would spend a good amount of time arguing with them about it. I just wouldn’t let it go. I simply didn’t have tolerance for people in those days, and easily got upset when someone was not doing what he/she was “supposed” to be doing.

Then I attracted a huge lesson to my life, which ultimately gave me an understanding of my previous behavior. Those were very harsh days for me and it was a time where I felt NO peace in my life at all.

Then came my life questions. And as I often explain, answers soon followed. I realized a lot about myself… my fears, my unhappiness, my disempowerment, and more. I believe all that prior life was necessary (for me) to understand what I do today.

And since the beginning of those realizations, I have been on this new journey I now live. Remembering what it’s like to not have peace in my life, it is now my personal mission to always be at peace. And so I am.

My daughter bought this bracelet (seen in the pic) for me about three years ago. It’s all scratched up these days, but I rarely take it off because it is probably my most favorite gift of all time. It’s not only meaningful because my daughter bought it for me, but because it greatly represents who I now am and how I now live.

This may be surprising to hear, but I am not here to save the world. Even though I help people find their own happiness, my purpose in life is not to make them happy. MY purpose is to be happy and be at peace myself. Coaching makes me happy. Coaching makes me feel alive. Coaching gives me peace.

So I can let those three unsubscribers go and wish them well. I am happy they know what they do and don’t want for themselves. That is what empowerment is actually. I am happy to offer what I do to whoever wants it, because it fills ME. And as long as I continue to live this way, I will always be at peace!

Did I really have a baby once?

I got the call yesterday, "Mom, we're making the rounds and I wanted to let you know that we're coming over." Well, I had never heard her say that before, but I knew exactly why she was coming over. She was going to give me the news. She's only 21 years old, but I was only 18 when I had such news... so what could I say?

I was 19 when I had my daughter Dana. I remember expecting her, giving birth to her, and taking care of her. But to think back of her as a baby, it seems like a whole other lifetime ago. From the day Dana was born, she was so good. Seriously, she was rarely even sick. While she had the occasional cold, I can only remember one time her really crying because she couldn't hold anything down in her tummy. She slept through the night at six weeks old. She went off the bottle easily at one year old. She potty-trained extremely easy at a year and a half. She was simply the easiest baby. Even when she got the chicken pox at two years old, it barely even phased her. (I, on the other hand, got the chicken pox from her and I think that was the sickest I have ever been!)

Into the school years, and all her years growing up, Dana was simply the easiest child. I couldn't even imagine having a better child. She's the sweetest, the nicest, the smartest, and now today, one of the coolest people I know. I not only love her as a daughter, but I love the person she is. She's just so likeable, and I am extremely proud of the woman she has become.

So being the person who Dana is, it only makes sense that she would find her perfect match.

In the summer of 2006, when Dana met David, I just knew they would be together. There's no easy way to explain it, but it's just as if they were made for each other. They were instantly joined at the hip, and these days it's hard to imagine the time when she wasn't with him. If I wasn't blessed enough before to have such a wonderful daughter, I am even more blessed today that she's found such a great guy. Honestly, David is simply the best for Dana. He is so smart, responsible, and very loving towards her. And I have absolutely no doubt that he will continue making her very happy.

So the news--the news that they are engaged, is perfectly good news to me.

However, since my world revolves around me (ha-ha!), I must say that even though I am happy about my daughter's engagement, I feel like I've aged about 7 years in one day. Not really. I don't feel older, like old (actually I feel great these days). But I feel like I've just jumped into a whole new phase of life. I'm not even sure why. After all, the wedding will not happen for awhile. And thank God, they are not planning on kids for a few years after that! But really, how did this day even come so fast? Did I really have a baby once? Did I really take her to kindergarden... go on all those field trips... watch her in the band in Junior High School... teach her how to drive... see her graduate High School... then let her go when she moved out last year? How did all that happen soooo fast?

I know, there's so much more to come, and so much more life to look forward to with my daughter. I'm good. But, hopefully the next 21 years won't go as fast as the last. Every day is such a gift... a gift to cherish... and a gift to be grateful for. And I am definitely extremely grateful for every day since I had my baby.

Congratulations, my dear sweet Dana and her very deserving David!

2008!! Ready for the journey...

Happy New Year! I'm excited the new year is here, because I just know it's going to be a great one. I'm setting my intentions and getting ready for the journey...