Owning my choices

Fortunately, I’m not one for regrets. For me, it never made much sense to regret past choices. Yes, I do sometimes think back and wish I would have made a different choice. However, there’s nothing I can do to change what has already happened. So I could say that I am usually pretty good at spending as little time as possible thinking about the “what ifs”.

When it comes to making new choices, however, my feelings are a little different. Whenever I’m conflicted about what to do, I spend lots of time thinking about the consequences of making a particular choice. How will I know which is the better choice? And, even if I don’t regret my choice afterwards, will I still look back and wish I would have made a different one? It’s almost as though I have feelings of regret beforehand, and this is where I usually spend too much time being unsure about myself or what to do.

A couple of days ago I had to make a choice. It wasn’t a difficult choice really, rather something as simple as wanting to ask someone a question. However, with this particular person I was unsure about how he would take the question. I was actually concerned about how I would be perceived by asking this question! Therefore, the idea of not asking the question was just as appealing to me as actually asking.

While there’s much more to the situation than I’m sharing here, I got something quite important for myself as I went through all of the possible outcomes from making my decision to ‘ask this question’. I realized that what I really want is the answer to my question. And, whatever the outcome or whatever this person would think of me by asking was not the issue. Asking the question was simply more important to me than what this person would think of me.

So I made a choice to ask the question, but even more importantly, simply own my choice.

Well, this is the part where I bet you think I tell you how well it worked out. Not necessarily. I didn’t even get an answer to my question. And although one might think that if I would have chosen to not ask the question, that would have been the better choice, I do not think so. I think making the choice, and being happy that I made that choice, is the best thing for me. The outcome doesn’t really matter.

I often get asked by my clients about choices they should make for their lives. I really try not to answer those questions because they are not my choices to make. However, one thing I do often say is, make whatever choice you want and then be happy with that choice. That is actually a much more empowering place to be. Have you ever eaten a piece of cake, saying all along, “I shouldn’t be eating this.”? That is not an empowering act. Owning your choice is. So if you make the choice to eat that cake, ENJOY IT!

Or, if you are like me and have NEVER been conflicted about whether to eat a piece of cake (Haha), rather find yourself instead in a crazy decision-making place like me about whether or not to ask someone a question, make your choice and just be proud of yourself no matter what.

Oh, and before you find yourself regretting anything as a result of your choices, I once read a very inspirational quote that went something like this… “Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted” Now that is an empowering way to look at choice!